Triggers & The Truth

PRETTY SURE THE PHRASE PRINTED ON THE CANVAS BAG SHOWN ABOVE IS TRUE…UNFORTUNATELY, IT’S ALSO MOST DECIDEDLY NOT A SUPERPOWER WHICH I POSSESS! WELL, MAYBE JUST THIS ONE DAY; SEEING AS HOW IT IS HALLOWEEN?

Please forgive me?  My mind can be a bit akin to a jungle from time to time, and recently all the references (some mine, some not) to animals as metaphors for humans (like Lions & Bears) has got me a little wound up, and as a result my thoughts are headed down a temporarily different track. However…I swear, cross my heart, to finish unpacking the box I opened in my recent entry, “The Lyin’s Den” but for right this minute, and because I despise Halloween, which is all anyone can seem to think about this weekend, work with me, please?  With that as my immediate compass, I’m going to take a brief detour. Imagine some urban landscape in the middle of New York, Chicago, New Jersey California, or Washington DC somewhere, with decaying buildings, makeshift homeless housing, trash littering the ground, the sound of sirens, shots being fired, wails of screaming, and bystanders just standing amidst it all…chaos everywhere; can you see it?  Yes, me too;  now look again and picture two sets of train tracks adjacent to the previous mess, but this time separating after intersecting with one another, and going off in their own respective directions.  That’s where I am right now. Okay, let’s open our eyes and indulge me, please, while we take a quick trip together; bring your favorite candy if you want?

I sat in front of a fire a few nights ago, dividing my attention between working on a new project, and watching the evening news…BIG MISTAKE!  Not only was my head pounding, but my eyes were strained from staring at my laptop all day (I think it might be time to break down and go to a real eye doctor, vs/ keeping “cheaters” all over the house, in every purse, in my car, but usually resting on top of my head while not in use) so my focus was a little out of whack, making it far easier to hone in and focus on the large screen hanging on the wall in front of me rather than, squinting down at the small screen on my lap. I was totally blown away when I caught part of a segment regarding the impending Virginia Governor’s election and the position of one of the candidates who doesn’t think parents deserve to have any input into their kid’s education and the curriculum being taught within any given school system?  Whaaaat…since when?  

From the picture above, it safe to assume my own kids are far beyond school age, and I don’t live anywhere near Virginia, but there’s no one who could convince ME (then or now) that I didn’t have the right to make decisions regarding my children. With that in mind, and having had some similarly dismal experiences witnessing the way Glynn County, Georgia or Santa Barbara and San Diego, California county Board of Supervisor’s meetings, or courtrooms are run, I decided to investigate a little (or a lot) further. 

 I believe I’m quoting this correctly when during the Virginia gubernatorial debate Terry McAuliffe stated, “parents should have no role in directing the education of their children.”  

There have been many subsequent comments made by the same man, as well as numerous others, a huge swell of public debate and fury ignited.  Bottom line and I’ll be damned, but last time I checked, the role of a politician is not to tell me, or any other parent how to raise our children…period.  These “politically elected officials, and wannabe’s” have an awfully convenient way of forgetting that WE THE PEOPLE elect them to their offices. We pay their salaries, their assistant’s salaries, their driver’s salaries, and most recently (I think) their private security detail’s too, since police are being defunded around the country. It’s not just that, but in addition WE THE PEOPLE are paying for their personal wish lists and the often inane programs they  push.  And finally, it’s WE THE PEOPLE who pay for the lights which illuminate the  buildings where they work.  I think it’s waaaay past time that WE illuminate and remind those same “public servants” who they really work for?  The answer is us…WE THE PEOPLE.  It’s probably trivial, and maybe insidious to contemplate what I’m going to say next, but I wonder whether, and might even place a wager that, it’s possible that WE THE PEOPLE could actually be paying for the Botox, facelifts, hairdressers, personal trainers, custom designer ball gowns, silk face masks crafted, and then imported, from near and far that our elected officials are so fond of “sporting.” Pretty sure there’s more to consider in that regard, but for now, that’s got to be nauseating enough, right?  Maybe not? Consider the loudmouth who attended the Met Ball, wearing “Tax The Rich” written across her ass in blood red?  Who does she suppose is going to pay for the billions and trillions of tax-payer dollars she plans to hand out like it was nothing more than candy on Halloween?  (See just how much I really do detest Halloween?) Contrary, to the tagline scribbled across that unfortunate backside, it won’t be the truly wealthy who pay for the socialist pipedreams that “arss” was promising. No, it will be you, me, our children, our children’s children, and so on who are stuck paying that tab!  But what does she care; I don’t believe she even has kids?  It’s highly doubtful she sees anything beyond another opportunity to climb the next rung on the power ladder, attend the next ball, make her next televised speech, or display her incredibly ignorant, idealistic, polarizing, even dangerous views?  Oh geez, I hate to be so hideously critical…but that news report the other evening triggered something I hadn’t thought about in a long while, and unpleasant as it may be, I’m going to have to follow this train a teensy bit longer. 

This picture doesn’t look anything like a jungle, but it still looks a bit like the thoughts that float around in my head…I omitted a few that were just too, too harsh!

When I’m on a roll and feel strongly about a subject, it’s next to impossible to either deter or slow me down, and I don’t believe anything holds the fuel to create a more impassioned or determined person (a.k.a. me) than being a caring and involved parent of a child, and especially a school-aged child.  Politicians, the media, and many other groups mess with WE THE PEOPLE plenty enough already, but when “they” start messing with our kids, and our rights to parent, well that’s just, plain and simple… going too far!  I always felt very fortunate for the opportunity to be an involved parent and was equally grateful for the particular life circumstances that provided me that privilege.  From nursery school through college (for both my kids,) I was front, center and in the thick of it all.  I attended more than my fair share of board meetings, and was never shy to voice my concerns, wishes and criticisms. I was also quick to volunteer in the classroom, drive on field trips, host end of year parties, chair numerous fundraising events and the like.  I don’t believe you can raise a problem without also trying to be part of the solution. It’s the very foundation of a checks and balance system, as defined by the phrase “separate branches induced to share power.” Through all the years when I was participating in my kid’s school experiences, whether chairing fundraisers, baking cakes, or very vocally raising academic concerns…never did I pose a physical threat, or speak in such a heated manner which would have warranted being identified or treated as a “domestic terrorist,” which is the standard attempted to be implemented across our country today, by both the U.S. Attorney General and many school boards especially ones which could potentially operate under the purview of Terry McAuliffe of Virginia, (and other small but like-minded thinkers) as he and others run for the highest political office in their respective States, and push a radical academic agenda and a segregating curriculum that many are trying to pretend isn’t stealthily creeping into all our children’s, and our families lives?  In reality, that’s exactly what’s going on!  What’s worse, we caring parents are somehow dehumanized, degraded and referred to as animals, “affectionately” labelled as “mama bears” and the like. While many of the people I’ve watched stand in front of school boards, county meetings etc… making their cases and standing for their rights, as well as the rights of their children, do happen to be women not all those brave parents are female and yet the patriarchy who tends to call the shots in society still feels justified to lump us all together with the same broad brush that paints a visual of the fiercest, potentially most dangerous animal one could encounter in the woods…a female, mama bear.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t believe that we deserve to be addressed in such a derogatory manner, and likened to that of an animal…no matter how fierce or powerful the animal may happen to be?  We…are human, caring, and thinking beings; maybe it’s time for the political “movers, shakers and operatives” to recognize us as such?

CRUDE LANGUAGE AND PHRASING ASIDE, THIS ENTIRE SONG AND THE LYRICS ARE WORTH REPEATING, AND PARTICULARLY APPROPRIATE IN CONJUNCTION WITH BOTH MY LIFE AND….. THIS POST.

The demands of a highly successful, if unscrupulous, husband together with his all-consuming profession and hobbies, meant that our family lived bi-coastally, and we moved several times during my children’s upbringing. That circumstance was accompanied by their attendance in a variety of schooling experiences. As a relatively “youngish” mother my daughter, and first born, had already attended four schools by the time she started Kindergarten.  The last community her father and I had moved to during that short period of years was very rural, and the school options were limited.  Regardless, we chose the option that felt right at the time and after what was almost her first full week of school, she was enthused and engaged; a total WIN…right?  Agreed. Every Friday morning, that small school community would gather at “morning drop-off,” form a circle in the interior courtyard to relay news, introduce new faces, and present special programs, etc.   Over the first four days, Emily shared detailed updates with me after each afternoon’s pick-up and was so happy as she told me about her new friends, the teachers and multitude of activities.  There were two boys in particular who she said were especially nice and asked if she could invite them over to play one day after school; I responded with a prompt, “yes, of course.”   On the first Friday morning as we stood in a circle of teachers, and parents holding hands with their kids, I whispered to my daughter and asked her which boys were the ones she wanted to invite over?  She pointed to two boys standing about 10-12 people away, and told me, “there they are, Mom…the twins!”  I’ve been proud thousands of times as a parent, but that was definitely one of those moments.  The two boys she was referring to were black, but their color and race wasn’t what my daughter saw.  Emily saw two kids who had been nice to her.  It’s simplistic of me I know, but I wish that view was what we all saw…character above color, and merit versus entitlement.  I’m afraid however, that those principles are not the tenets being taught in today’s classrooms nor guiding our nations academic and public policies either? Sadly too, our country feels more divided today than it has been in decades.  I’m sure you’ve heard the expression, “divide and conquer,” right?  Maybe we need to focus a little more on that thought, as it feels pretty “spot on” right about now.  I’m going to apologize again…not for WHAT I’ve said, but if I’ve said it in a way that sounded at all preachy, lecturing or condescending?  That is absolutely NOT my intent. I’m just worried, a bit afraid, and wondering if anyone else feels that way too? 

There was another instance (not at all similar, but noteworthy) when my daughter was treated very differently, and it didn’t come anywhere close to approaching kindly.  This occasion happened during Middle School, and as it played out, when I picked her up from school one afternoon, she was stony silent, and wore a very solemn expression.  Her brother was already in the car, asking where we were going for an afternoon snack, and I could sense her sullen mood was probably not a subject I should raise until we were alone when she might not feel as awkward talking about whatever had upset her.  As she later relayed, trembling and in tears, she had been ridiculed, threatened and “wished death” in an online forum, by a trio of female classmates.  What kids (or people in general) didn’t understand then, and often still don’t, is that if you put something “online,” it NEVER goes away!  That’s a distraction from the deeper point I’m making, but that ugly and hugely public bullying was an experience that might never leave my daughter’s memory, just as it will remain planted in my mental, and physical files, as well.  So too, it should. It was both a traumatic and scarring event.  Nonetheless, the school administration, the three girl’s parents, and our family were able to deal with the matter and put it behind us.  The school did not attempt to pretend the incident didn’t take place, the parents and girl’s apologized and Emily moved on.  I’ll never feel warmly about those three, now grown, women, and I will always remember the pain, the lesson and the impact that those immature, but vile words brought my daughter. 

I’m usually inclined to give people the benefit of the doubt, and that was the tact that I tried to use when attempting to comfort my daughter all those years ago. I explained to her how insecure and jealous young, preteen and teenage girls can be, and that while those nasty, evil, words were horribly hurtful, she needed to understand that none of it was true.  She was an amazing, smart, capable, beautiful human with a strong and good character.  Those were the qualities she could, and should, remember and count on. She should, and thankfully was, also able to count on her parents to stand alongside, and behind, her to bolster, encourage and support her while she faced challenges such as the one which had just presented itself.  THAT last sentence or two, IS EXACTLY THE POINT I’ve been trying to make. It is the role of parents to raise and guide OUR children…at least until the age of majority, and sometimes years beyond. That is not a role I would ever be willing to assign or defer to school boards, Assembly Members, Mayors, Governors or any other person, “elected” official or not…period.

I can’t apologize for going off on this tangent, but eventually, I hope to have successfully explained why I did. Truth and integrity mean’s the world to me, and it’s painful to watch the way people operate, either on their own or within certain systems, to manipulate situations, people and the law to advance their personal gain. Make no mistake…as I did for far too long; the truth and the law are NOT synonymous.

Maybe I should have focused more attention the other evening to the project I was working on rather than that particular news segment, but it’s too late now!  I’ve been thinking about and researching this topic ever since, and I feel VERY STRENUOUSLY that the matter needs more exposure and transparency, beyond what the special interest groups, school boards, elected officials , attorneys and a very agenda-driven media attempt to communicate to the average person or parent.  Across our country recently, school boards are getting more and more emboldened with power and control, but it is ALSO both ironic and fitting that, simultaneously, parents are becoming more and more informed and vested in EXACTLY what is being taught to their children.  I am, I think pretty obviously, “old-school” and fairly traditional in my views, and while (thank God) my kids are grown now, I would never have wanted “porn” to be in my kid’s elementary school library, just as I wouldn’t have been okay sending my 12 year old daughter into a school bathroom where a boy dressed in a skirt was allowed to be physically present and might proceed to accost and rape her, which is exactly what has happened in at least one instance in the Fairfax and/or Loudon County, Virginia school system.  My attention was riveted by that horrible attack and the transmittal of information being relayed during the news reports.

For the past few months, I’ve been absolutely stunned by the wave of governmental controls (at every level) being imposed on parents across the country.  Whether the discussion is regarding mascs, vaxxes, manndates, curriculum, gender usage of bathrooms and/or locker rooms, sports team participation, pronoun usage and so on, there seems to be another opinion, rule and circumstance being ordered and observed almost weekly, by local, state and/or federal officials.  Why?  No really, I’m serious….. why?  Selfishly, while I’m beyond grateful these are not immediate concerns for me today, I can’t help but empathize with the parents I watch show up at these school board meetings, Board of Supervisor’s meetings and other such forums.  I continue to be impressed and inspired by the courage and tenacity that parents are demonstrating on their children’s behalves while they, overwhelmingly, are able to articulate their points without resorting to swearing, physical threats or other such unpleasant behaviors. 

Finally, there is a theme that might just serve to unify the country…our kids and their education.

Dramatic school board episodes have been shown repeatedly, dozens of times in almost all media forums, and have been pointed to as a specific cause for various school boards requiring governmental intervention, and potential FBI/police force, to control the behaviors of potentially violent and outspoken parents, now also referred to as “domestic terrorists?” What is omitted from the majority of the news reports covering the particularly pertinent and disturbing stories, however, are the REAL AND FACTUAL backstory circumstances.  Just like you and, probably, a good bit of the country, I didn’t know the history either;  that is until the other evening!  I do now. Between carefully absorbing, and even recording the program to ensure I heard the details correctly, and researching further just to be absolutely certain that I had a thorough and accurate understanding of the disturbing incident(s) from a variety of resources, versus the perceptions that had been put forth and distributed for public consumption, I was disgusted to my core by the truth of the matter.  I was not just struck by the grotesque cover up and legal maneuvering of the subject, the report etc.. but I understand, now, how very grave the future implications being carried forward are; it’s HUGE, and should terrify every parent and citizen in the United States.  I promise that I’m not just being dramatic either!  This is real.  There is much about the FACTS of what has really transpired and which led to one, or many, incidents and everything that’s occurred since.

From my experience (which, unfortunately, is ALOT) any time that powerful law firms, attorneys, cover-ups, and corruption are mentioned in one conversation, it is usually indicative of some pretty serious and ugly business. All of that combined with the very notion that in some past world, I too could have experienced some such like treatment, and might have been labelled a “domestic terrorist,” simply for passionately advocating for one of my children struck a nerve and feelings that I’ve yet to fully comprehend, nor shake.  When I started looking into ALL the history, details, and other aspects involved in this recent trend regarding teachers unions, school boards, the enormity of the power they wield, I noticed that one of the larger common denominators that continued showing up over and over was the “NSBA” or National School Board Association.  There are numerous National associations which command a great deal of authority; that’s not news.  The NSBA, however, was powerful enough to generate a five-day, turnaround for an executive order from the United States of America’s Attorney General, commanding revised classification and extreme handling of this “new group of terrorists/parents?” THAT IS A BIG DEAL.  When I saw the name of the law firm representing the NSBA, I felt an odd chill go through my body.   

It’s worth noting that the last sentence referenced above is being repeated in more than just one image!

There is much in all these reports, that should raise the little hairs on the back of your neck; you know the ones that “trigger” a wave of suspicion, even nausea, inside your gut whispering… “something feels very off?” Listen to that whisper. I’d like to think I’ve become good at it…you know, listening to those instincts.  Turns out I’m still not as “tuned in” as I should be.  I understood on some level how “jacked up” the whole scenario seemed, but it wasn’t until I heard, and then really digested, the name of the law firm representing the NSBA that the entire matter became bigger, almost immeasurable! It was right then, too, that it became personal. 

 More personal than being an impassioned parent who participated in her kid’s lives and education; more personal than feeling a deep kinship watching an obvious miscarriage of justice being done to an undeserving victim; personal in a way that will be difficult to adequately depict.  I don’t know how to describe the chill I felt; unless perhaps you’ve been taunted by similar ghosts and experiences…or alternatively have read each of my posts on “DearEasyDiaries” and know my own history and experience with a veritable army of unsavory characters? Otherwise, it’s very hard to identify with what I felt or still feel.  It appears that the firm representing the NSBA is the same firm representing a number of local and regional school boards in Virginia (Fairfax/Loudon counties) each accused and, in at least one admitted instance, guilty of covering up rape and assault charges of minors.  That firm is also the same law firm that Virginia candidate for Govenor, Terry McAuliffe joined in 2018/2019 when his last “public service” position ended. It is the same firm that shows documented earnings by McAuliffe even still in 2021; thus any attempt to disassociate himself from the firm now could prove a bit tricky. 

You can look it up yourself…. “dailywire.com/news/exclusive.”  Luke Rosiak does an amazingly in-depth, enlightening, and compelling exposé of the filth (my word) that is so pervasive and rampant in our government and institutions these days. What’s more, the carefully manipulated, corrupt and camouflaged “bully pulpit” that allows for the belittlement, degradation, and even destruction of human being’s lives, going back (at least) to the 1950’s with the Supreme Court Case, “Brown v/ Board” under the representation of Hunton Williams (check it out) through today and the progression to the law firm, Hunton, Andrews, Kurth with their representation of not just institutions like the NSBA, but individuals like MY “EX” is nothing if not predictable, not to mention despicable…in my opinion! 

WOW…6 PAGES OUTLINING ALL THE WAYS I WAS “ALLEGEDLY” “DEFAMING” MY EX?  HERE’S THE THING, THOUGH… IT’S NOT DEFAMATION, IF WHAT YOU ARE TELLING IS THE TRUTH, AND I HAVE 30+ YEARS OF DOCUMENTATION SUPPORTING THAT TRUTH. ANY DEFAMATION THAT WAS EXACTED, WAS DONE BY MY “EX” HIMSELF, AND I CAN ATTEST THERE WERE PLENTY OF DAMAGES!

Again, this type of knowledge and information isn’t any new revelation, but it does go to show that patriarchy, corruption and malfeasance continue to be incredibly pervasive in our society today.  The patriarchy of our governmental and legal institutions, etc… is not in question. What’s up for grabs, is how WE THE PEOPLE respond. Just as the truth does not equate to the law, so too ignoring a situation does not equate to fixing the problem of what’s wrong?  I suppose the abhorrent example set by such powerful institutions, as the NSBA, the legal entities involved, and even regional school boards and city councils, is not so terribly different than my own experience in Glynn County, Georgia with so-called “Justices” who have documented instances of repeated malfeasance, like contacting parties to an action who they know are already represented by other counsel…but contact them directly anyways.  It all STINKS, and in addition to being a violation of Judicial Canons of Ethical Conduct, that kind of behavior was, and continues to be, intimidating!  But…hey, that’s exactly what “THEY” want.  Disgusting, right?  Yes, it is, and it goes on every day; it’s going on NOW.  

Please, I beg you…understand that I’m not trying to preach or lecture.  I’m asking you to believe me;  evil, corruption, unlawfulness and malfeasance exists everywhere, and at every level of society.  Be sooooooo careful of who you vote into office, or who you let into your life for that matter. That person will be gaining power to exact change that may never be reversed?  Whether it’s Virginia, New Jersey, New York, Georgia, California…or local communities like Fairfax County, Glynn County, Parker County, San Diego County, Nassau County, Santa Barbara County, or wherever county USA, remember that you matter, your kids matter, the truth matters…and, finally, while the truth may not the same as the LAW, the law should matter too!

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