Truth & Consequences…
The sky is orange, you say. No, it’s green I reply, gesturing and pointing upwards. Gauging a truthful portrayal of the color of the sky is easy enough, right? Other “truths” can be trickier to agree upon, and what a wildly broad understatement that is. Feels like ages ago and I suppose it was, but there used to be a TV game show called “Truth Or Consequences.” By the grace of God, I’m not old enough to remember the show’s beginning, but I do its finale in 1988. The premise was simple; contestants were given the choice between answering a question of trivia correctly, or choose a consequence to be executed instead, which usually involved performing crazy, embarrassing stunts. It probably could have just as easily been called “truth or dare;” it’s the exact same idea, right? Sounds simple and people must have really dug the concept because the show ran for something like 35+ years? Wouldn’t it be great if everything was still so transparent, but that type of simplicity doesn’t seem to exist anymore and the consequences of that time, resemble nothing like those today. Too often now, the truth is nothing more than an elusive concept, meaning different things to different people and who’s to say or decide, what is the truth?
Not being on social media any longer, I suppose it’s conceivable that I might not have heard of the recent “bruhaha” between a number of well-known, kick-ass, major-player women from the world of country music, and the fallout which resulted from their assortment of views. It’s crazy to see the animated responses which the women’s statements generated, as well as the wide disparity of personalities who jumped in to join the fray, which now includes me. But let’s be real…with or without social media, I don’t live under a rock, and that’s probably the only place immune to such “sensationalized” talking points. During lunch at one of my favorite spots recently, I couldn’t help but overhear a heated debate among a group seated around an adjacent table, each weighing in on both the issues being “dished” as well as the country dames themselves. If that one discussion is any type of gauge, then there’s no question of the judgement that holds almost a death grip on society right now. To make it even more intense, we all have access to instant information at our fingertips 24/7. Everyone and/or anyone, has the opportunity to weigh in on a given topic or engage in a dispute at a moment’s notice with unprecedented ease. That is unless you’ve been banned from social media, like me. If you’re thinking I make mention of that tiny tidbit of trivia too often, you have me dead to rights. Truth is, it still chaps my hide! Social media has a way of sucking us in. We feel like we’ve made friends with people that we never have (and most likely never will) ever lay our eyes on; we find inspiration from other people’s stories; we engage in gossip; we use social media to exercise our livelihoods; we draw false conclusions from well-staged but unreal images, and often we feel compelled to chime-in and dish the dirt on any number of issues, qualified or not. I am, or was, no exception to that practice and did more than my share of mudslinging. The various platforms and a mystical link to a world beyond your own is highly addictive, and I confess to missing the interaction. Truth be told, I used to succumb to the constant temptation and unfortunately failed to rise above at times. Geez Louise…or as BAM would have said, “shit louee!” {Blast from the past, but a happy memory and wow, the way little kids interpret our nutty expressions can be a real hoot, particularly from that amazing little dude!} Seriously though… the “failing thing” had better not get to be a habit? This time, or rather last time, while engaging in one of 2021’s many public discourses, I apparently caught the attention of a local level, ambitious politician’s brother-in-law in the midst of expressing myself. A member of the elected official’s extended family called me out big time, even threatening removal from Instagram’s platform, as I allegedly, “was not entitled to First Amendment protections, AND an elected official held the power to remove me?” I’ll be damned, but what do you know…shortly thereafter, that’s precisely what happened.
WHO KNEW? THREATS LIKE THIS ONE FROM @CLG_MARCO, SOMEONE I’VE NEVER MET, (NOR CARE TO) MIGHT ACTUALLY CARRY SOME WEIGHT, WHETHER ITS RIGHT, LEGAL, OR EITHER?
Last year when the specific dispute occurred, Vaccx mandates, school board meetings regarding in-person learning, and masked children were all hot-button topics of discussion, and I admit to holding very strong opinions about all of it; no big shocker, right? There were numerous, elected public officials, on both sides of the aisle, whose views I challenged and called to task. I have examples of more than a few “posts” when I did “go to the mattresses,” after all, my last name is ‘Capone.’ I felt strongly about standing up for Americans, the Constitution, and our collective freedoms, which seem to be getting stripped away at the hands of “power-grabbing politicians,” willing to stop at nothing to secure their personal agendas. Oh geez, see what I mean… “to the mattresses” I go.
I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT THIS SURE RINGS PRETTY TRUE TO ME RIGHT ABOUT NOW?
No one refers to me as “Mary meek,” and God knows I’ve had more than my fair share of fracases (not the perfume, which by the way I totally adore) over the past decade or two. Mixing it up with false “friends,” outlaws, corrupt lawyers, judges and a court system which supports them has, reluctantly, kind of been my orbit for a few years now. It started when my pretty cushy life came abruptly and completely unwound, and with the unravelling of lives came the undoing of the “story” which propped it all up for so long. Speaking the truth and resisting the “push” to just go along and get along has a way of making that happen. Sometimes it happens fast, or in my case…not so fast. So too, it kind of happened twice. Huh? Let me explain… Mine was a very opulent lifestyle for a while, and I was damn good at making it look easy, but then who couldn’t? Being the right person in the right way for the right people, all (or at least most all) of the time was a job I nailed. Flying from coast to coast on a private Lear jet, shuttling back and forth between anywhere from three to seven houses at a time, doesn’t suck, particularly when each home is furnished, staffed, and stocked with lovely cars in each garage just waiting to be driven. Then, factor in …the private clubs, traveling tennis pros, multiple show dogs, a “do not touch” collection of Ferraris, Bugattis, Lamborghinis, 4 original Grammy awards, art collections which included Calders, Cartier Jade Clocks, a Warhol or two, and ancient pieces of Gandhara, pilfered from Pakistan, combined with extensive entertaining and hosting of guests, gifts of extravagant jewelry and the title of supportive, adoring wife of a community Kingpin doesn’t make for many hardships. Those sound an awful lot like the words of a spoiled princess…right? Yes, sure does. Now too, it just sounds like an awful lot of trouble and headaches in addition to a double-wide trailer load of crap. Turns out the majority of that life wasn’t real, or at least not the part my Ex had much to do with? What I find myself wondering though is this…at just which moment did it go from being the truth to the toilet, like the fake Modigliani Al gifted me, check my post entitled “Authenticity (Guaranteed?).” Oh never mind; I don’t know if that even matters anymore. What does matter is that I almost allowed a make-believe scenario to take over my life not just once, but twice. How on earth could I have done that? Good question? Well here it is…not the entire answer, but the start of it for sure. The trappings and circumstances of the 2nd instance were hugely different than the first go-round and lasted for a far briefer period, but as more time passed, while I tried to rebuild my kids and my lives, something significant changed within me. The more time I took to examine and get really “reacquainted” with actual truths; not just getting overwhelmed by, or no longer able to cast aside what I WANTED to believe was true but wasn’t, there were consequences I hadn’t accounted for? Consequences and lessons, I’m pretty sure I could have, and would have done well without? No, I take that back; I’m grateful for the experiences and the lessons that came with those years. I wouldn’t trade them, but I kind of wish I’d have been prepared for all the people who would fall by the wayside, as I kept on going dragging the truth along at my side. The truth costs you; there’s no two ways about it, and anyone who tells you differently is lying and most likely not your friend.
Telling the truth and exposing a community’s, county’s, and beyond, deeply hidden and generationally kept secrets takes a toll on a person…as well as their “friendships.” So surely, when DearEasyDiaries was born in 2020, and revealed or rather disclosed much “unpleasantness” about Glynn County, Georgia, the adjacent Golden Isles of St. Simons Island and Sea Island as well as the ghouls and ghosts that inhabit them, I should have expected some controversy? Those “consequences” must account for my having been uninvited to an event a “dear friend” hosted recently, because the community’s “mainstay,” and co-conspirator of my Ex, would be at the event. My attendance might prove disconcerting, or make others feel uncomfortable…or worse, cause certain individuals to not attend at all, resulting in a complete and utter social disaster. Hmmm, guess that means I’m going to have to put a couple checkmarks on the “lose” column of my alleged friendship list? The undercurrent that the truth reveals is powerful; don’t let it drown you!
A year ago, having gotten sucked into some local issues via Instagram, perhaps I did “get down in the mud a little deeper than I should?” Perhaps, I let my passion trump my discretion? Maybe, my outspoken views, no matter how cogent, regarding certain subjects made people feel uncomfortable? It’s risky to expose oneself in public forums; nonetheless, I felt so strongly about addressing the bombastic party-line mandates that were being forced upon hundreds of thousands of people…guilty of nothing more than holding dissenting opinions from those issuing the restrictions, I could not look away. I’m not totally sure when “it all hit the fan,” or when I became public enemy #whatever? But when an elected public servant (I won’t say the name, because that would be indiscreet) issues public statements via social media, addressing members of his district’s constituency, by insulting people’s intelligence and employing profanity and condescension to do so regarding subjects which were questionable at the time, and have since been proven absolutely fallible… well, that’s just flat unacceptable.
NO, I DIDN’T DO ANY OF THE THINGS THE SUPERVISOR SUGGESTS ARE LEGITIMATE RESEARCH METHODS, BUT I HAVE READ THE UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION. SO, SORRY… BUT I REALLY DON’T NEED, NOR APPRECIATE BEING LECTURED TO BY SOME POMPOUS, CONDESCENDING DUDE WHO CHANGES HIS POLITICS AS HE CHANGES WIVES.
I acknowledge being fairly outspoken on IG and my lengthy comments on certain posts in 2021 were definitely not well-received. It just so happened that my very aggressive opponent on IG, a certain “@clg_marco,” was/is also the brother-in-law of the same County Supervisor referenced above. Oops, so much for discretion?
Maybe @clg_marco was just upset that someone was challenging both him, as well as his sister’s husband, in such a public forum AND maybe it was made worse because I knew how to compose a proper sentence while doing so? Both the Supervisor and his brother-in-law have openly voiced great disdain for the public’s occasionally flawed grammar. But, wait what do you think? Is it really possible that a problem with grammar, or semantics, holds the power to so unhinge an alleged adult, business professional, or worse still an elected public servant? Who knows, and I guess, who cares? Maybe “hot-headedness” just runs in the family… extended or not? Plus, it’s likely that, this particular family probably has bigger fish to fry right about now, as questionable financial practices have been plaguing both the Supervisor and his wife. Unfortunately, the couple have found themselves embroiled in some seriously dubious pandemic investments? Curiously, their troubles concern financial gains resulting from the Supervisor’s policies and mandates, made during the pandemic crisis. Does that sound at all familiar? No, probably not; I didn’t think so. Nothing to see there. What a wild imagination I have? In addition to his fondness for dogs, I must have also inherited my Father’s knack for sarcasm?
I WOULD LAY DOWN SOME SERIOUS COIN, THAT THIS ISN’T THE FIRST OR ONLY EXAMPLE OF SUCH PROFIT? WHAT AN INTRIGUING DYNAMIC IT IS WHEN REAL-LIFE DRAMA IS EVERY BIT AS PRODIGIOUS AS ANYTHING THAT’S BEING PRODUCED ON THE BIG SCREEN?
Okay, confession time. It would hardly be fair if I called out someone else’s suspect behavior but didn’t fall on my own sword when appropriate. This is one of those times. Last year when the illustrious County Supervisor, I’ve been referencing here, posted a “Back To School” picture on IG, I admit to allowing my inner bitch to surface. I wrote a comment to his post which was just plain mean. I hate thinking of myself as a “mean girl,” but alas I am human and, unfortunately, let myself succumb to pettiness and judgement from time to time. So, as the expression goes…if the shoe fits. A year ago, my “bitchy slipper” fit just fine. The post I’m talking about showed a picture of the Supervisor’s two youngish sons standing on the front porch of a house, each holding up an 8 ½ x 11 white, horizontal sheet of paper with the date written on a line at the top; the next line read, “first day of school;” the third line gave the grade level which each child was entering. In this specific case, the grade levels mentioned were 8th and 5th respectively. I used to love taking pictures on the first day of school when my kids were younger and of school age. Such a sweet tradition, right? So why did I have to go post a “nasty-gram” on the poor Supervisor’s post? You may or may not share my opinion on this and that’s certainly your right; I’m only focused on addressing my mistaken behavior here, not the actual principle behind my comment. But here goes… I commented on the Supervisor’s post saying, “I had a child with learning disabilities and think you ought to be as worried about your son’s academic deficits as you are about your public profile. No 8th grader should be shamed or embarrassed on the very public platform (IG) where you presented your children this week. Additionally, I’m very concerned for the entire student body, and the parents of kids who attend whatever school(s) it is that your children attend? What a disgraceful example of middle-school and elementary level education? San Diego deserves better.” Whether you happened to read it or not, and setting aside the disheartening sentiment I attached to my last post “Keep Reading” on DearEasyDiaries, at least the elementary school I attended, also in San Diego, knew how to produce literate kids?
SERIOUS ATTENTION SHOULD PROBABLY BE DIRECTED TO THE ADMINISTRATION AND “EDUCATORS” OF THIS PARTICULAR SCHOOL, WHEREVER IT IS?
Integrity and self-control lost out a year ago, to what can only be called a passionate, almost obsessive concern, over political issues which must have literally burrowed their way under my skin. To what else can I attribute my mouthy, opinionated bitchiness? There’s this quote I saw recently which reads, “Let everyone sweep in front of his own door, and the whole world will be clean.” Boy, oh boy, that Johann Wolfgang von Goethe was really on to something. Maybe that is exactly the flaw of social media? “It” holds the potential to take all our personal dirty laundry and put it on display for the whole wide world to not just see, but potentially judge and comment upon?
Thankfully, my two kids are grown. I no longer have to fight for and advocate on their behalf daily, but I damn sure did when it was my time to do so. When my second grader was disciplined at school and sent home with a note from her teacher, admonishing my daughter for answering a question by replying, “Yes, ma’am,” and the note continued on scolding Emily’s refusal to address the teacher by her first name, as was the school’s practice, I was at a complete loss for words. “What in the world,” was all that came to mind? By the next morning, I had recomposed myself and was very clear when I dropped Emily off at school a bit early, so as to have a moment with the teacher, and then the Principal, to explain that our family followed and enforced certain protocols too. “Courtesy and respect are two of the qualities we value in raising our children, and my daughter’s response to your question was entirely appropriate. Furthermore, if you are going to focus on trivial issues like ‘that’ versus teaching the basic skills of Reading, Writing and Arithmetic in second grade, then I suppose our $20K (+) annual tuition, as well as the fundraising role I have accepted on the school’s behalf, would be better utilized elsewhere?” Both the Teacher and Principal assured me that they appreciated my honesty, apologized, and “offered” that they would not undermine or question the values of our family further, but it became clear over the subsequent months that not all schools are good fits, and that particular school did not fit our family well at all. That might have been my first conflict with a school’s program, but it was definitely not the last. Mine was a fierce and proud mindset that my children were God’s greatest gift and life’s greatest blessing. I still feel that way today, the same as I have for the past 31 years. We only get one chance in life to raise our children; I took that privilege really, really seriously. Curiously enough, we’re almost an entire year past a blog post I wrote called “Triggers & The Truth,” which is vaguely reminiscent of this one in some ways, and still a year later, we’re struggling with many of the same issues, and then some? If I’m being repetitive…sorry.
With that tale and experience told, I still feel conflicted. No, my children aren’t in a classroom any longer and aren’t affected in the same way that kids are today by society’s “progress” (?) but that doesn’t make me feel any less apprehensive. I think about BAM, about potential, future Grandkids, as well as the kids of my family and friends. I worry for them; worry for their ability to remain young at heart and stay as innocent as is humanly possible in this world, which I’m watching getting scarier by the day. There are a few national news programs I sometimes have playing as background noise so as to educate and familiarize myself with both sides of “the issues circulating throughout our society.” What a dismal proposition that is; I feel torn that our country appears more divided today than even just a year ago. I didn’t imagine that it was possible to watch our communities become any more shattered. Today, I realize it is not just possible, but is happening right now, immediately, in front of our eyes. A year ago, average, concerned, involved parents were being silenced, harassed, and identified as “domestic terrorists.” Today, parents are still battling those labels and consequences, but the stakes are potentially far more serious now. I stood with parents then, and I will stand with them again and forever, ready and actively willing to support parent’s rights to protect THEIR kids; permitting schools to be reopened, insuring that unproven vaccines are individually decided rather than mandated, and the return to a mind-set where academics center around the basics. By that, I mean…reading, writing and arithmetic; no gender studies, no critical race theory; no white supremacy and no boys playing in girl’s sports or using women’s restrooms…period. Easy!
I was angry 20+ years ago when my daughter was reprimanded for being polite to a 2nd grade teacher and angrier still, when she was later the target of an at-school bullying incident, which brought my daughter humiliation, threats and death wishes. When my son was diagnosed with an “umbrella” of dyslexia issues, and the private school where he was enrolled at the time proclaimed their inability to properly address his needs, we (his father and I) adapted a very proactive approach and offered to fund a full-time teacher equipped with special education credentials to academically support not just our son, but any other children who were being equally challenged. The school declined our offer, as they didn’t want to become a school known for “special needs,” but those, as well as other issues continued to present themselves up until the day both my kids completed their educations, and whether it was as a married parent or single parent, I advocated for them with a steely resolve that was nothing if not formidable. I can’t begin to imagine my ire had I been told what today’s parents of school-age children are being told…or rather not being told? I would have come absolutely unglued, and relentless in my pursuit of legal justice, had I learned that my young children, or any child under the age of 18 years, was being either covertly or openly taught about, and/or encouraged to adapt, transgender behaviors, sexual orientation changes, and that the focus of their scholastics was as heavily concentrated on gender pronouns, and other sexual topics over basic academic skills, such as reading, writing, and arithmetic. No way, no how, would I have ever let that fly!
A GEM OF AN IG SCREENSHOT AND MESSAGE…NEVER MORE NEEDED THAN TODAY?
Ok, with all that hot air expelled and pontificating done, I understand very well that I’m no expert on this subject, nor superior in any way, but I’m also not ignorant nor am I a “hater.” I have known, and have held dear, plenty of extended family, friends, work associates and acquaintances who’ve chosen to lead a non-traditional, non-heterosexual life; that’s their decision and right. It’s no-one’s business but their own. Contrary to some others who’ve spoken on the semi-facist or grotesque nature of people who hold dissenting views from their own, I’m not a racist, xenophobic, sexist, advocate of white privilege or any other brand of “bigotry.” I’m human, I’m fallible, and I’m good to call a bullying, self-righteous dick just that, but I also sincerely attempt every day to approach life, humans, animals, and society as a whole, like living breathing entities. I would hope that we each might be treated, and treat others, based on character, integrity, merit and behavior. It is with that frame of mind I just can’t wrap my arms around any scenario which would allow the government, a governing force, or “union,” the absolute right to dictate how another person’s child or children should be raised…period. I can back those words up too. I have very real, recent occasions in mind and can cite at least two painful and deeply personal experiences when I’ve learned the hard way the veracity of the sentiment I just expressed.
Whew, that’s a lot of ground covered, and I’m all out of fight, for now, but maybe I really ought to thank @clg_marco for any part he may have played in having me banned from social media? It’s amazing how much time all that crazy scrolling occupied? Now I can focus on the real things in my life, like the truth…even with the myriad of consequences it can bring, like the people left behind.
Wait though, what about the drama played out among the sirens of country music? I love Jason Aldean’s music… cue “Siri.” His song “The Only Way I Know” has become one of any number of favored personal anthems. I also appreciate the way he has very boldly and publicly supported his wife Brittany, despite some pretty radical criticism. That said, I also enjoy the talent of one of Brittany’s recent critics, Maren Morris. Her song “The Bones” always hits close to home, reminding me of my daughter and her fierce loyalty. I find Joy Behar to be a big ole bag of wind, but she is entitled to her “View,” and I think Tucker Carlson was wrong to insert himself into a discussion by engaging in the same ugly name calling, he was opining about, but that doesn’t mean I won’t ever watch one of his interviews again. He’s a sharp guy and gets some pretty interesting guests, from Kid Rock to Tony Bobulinski to Anthony Pellicano. With all that said, I believe Maren Morris and certain others ought to keep their views on “trans-pushing, body disfigurations” to themselves…at least until such a time they are faced with a child of their own, who may potentially find themselves having that very sex/trans subject shoved down his or her throat. If that ever happens, then they can speak from personal experience, rather than spewing misleading information for gazillions of people to consume. In the meantime, I’m not going to remove Maren’s songs from my playlist. We all do the best we can, or at least I hope that’s the case? Regardless of what we try for, we make mistakes and end up failing sometimes. On this particular topic, however, I’m going to put my “checkmark” on the WIN side of Brittany Aldean’s list of “pros and cons!” To quote the words of a news journalist I found myself reading recently, “The dangers of medically mutilating children are simply too horrific for society to sit in silence.” Thanks, Shawn Fleetwood; I agree, 100%.
I started this post with the mention of an old game show, “Truth Or Consequences.” I’m ending it noting that life is certainly no game, and the truth is harder and harder to find, but here’s a bit more of it… Thank heavens way back when that being bullied, an over-achiever, a “tomboy” or challenged with A.D.D. and learning disabilities didn’t automatically earn you an express ticket to “trans land.” I may have far preferred raking leaves in the yard with my Dad, rather than doing inside chores with my Mom and sisters, or have given myself repeatedly horrid, short haircuts, but in NO WAY did that mean I was questioning my gender? What if one of those bad hair-cut experiences had prompted and led some teacher to believe they should mention or suggest an alternative way that I could go? I’d be pretty pissed off had that happened to either me, but particularly my kids.
Instead of what seems to be occurring at an alarming rate today, by rushing kids through childhood…from day one, when I first learned I was going to become a Mom, the words of Billy Dean and his song, “Let Them Be Little” guided my path throughout all 31 years of child-rearing right up through today, and I don’t regret it for one single moment. Whatever musical device you employ, go ahead and ask “it” to play this…
“Let Them Be Little” by Billy Dean
I can remember when you fit in the palm of my hand.
Felt so good in it, no bigger than a minute.
How it amazes me, you're changing with every blink.
Faster than a flower blooms they grow up all too soon.
So let them be little, cause they're only that way for a while.
Give them hope, give them praise, give them love, every day.
Let em cry, let em giggle, let them sleep in the middle.
Oh, just let them be little
I've never felt so much in one little tender touch.
I live for those kisses, prayers and your wishes.
Now that you're teaching me things only a child can see.
Every night while we're on our knees all I ask is please
Let them be little, cause they're only that way for a while.
Give them hope, give them praise, give them love, everyday.
Let em cry, let em giggle, let them sleep in the middle.
Oh just let them be little.
So innocent, a precious soul, you turn around.
Its time to let them go.
So let them be little, cause they're only that way for a while.
Give them hope, give them praise, give them love, every day.
Let em cry, let em giggle, let them sleep in the middle.
Oh, just let them be little
Let them be little
THIS SIMPLE BUT SENSATIONAL MESSAGE IS MY WISH FOR EVERY CHILD! LIFE HAPPENS FAST ENOUGH ALL ON ITS OWN; IT NEEDS NO EXTRA PUSH! HUGE THANKS TO YOU, BILLY DEAN – WE ONLY GET OUR ONE CHANCE TO “LET THEM BE LITTLE.”