Madoff, or Made-Off!
From my perspective, and I promise there will be no doubt left in your mind as to what that is after this post, the title to this particular entry may seem like an odd, albeit tragic and wickedly cruel, statement, especially if you’ve ever been the victim of the now infamous crime, and real life effects of…..a “Ponzi Scheme,” or the architects behind such a scheme! My limited, but entirely too close for comfort tie to an “alleged Ponzi scheme,” taught me that careful scrutiny of the “scheme” is crucial. There were a few undeniable factors which might have revealed the veracity of the specific, alleged scheme I’m talking about if I… (1.) knew the signs of what to look for and/or (2.) wasn’t so busy trying to dodge all the mud being slung my way.
While I did NOT know at the time how thoroughly I should have investigated the details involved in such a scheme, it’s very safe to assume that I do now, and it is questionable whether the whole truth, (or in this single instance, the story) may ever be completely uncovered even though it had wide-reaching implications. The last few statements are made in reference only to my OWN personal experience with such a scheme. To the, far too many, unfortunate victims and family of the “real” Mr. Madoff, I’m deeply and truly sorry that anyone should ever endure such gross manipulation, self-serving greed, and devastating loss. That lives were torn apart, stripped bare, all at the whim of an ego-centric narcissist, is beyond reprehensible, and I couldn’t begin to guess what type of amends might ever adequately compensate for the harm such schemes inflict? This is a tricky and truly unpleasant subject; nevertheless, as I prefaced this post, it’s a topic that “hits” close to “home,” and one which I feel compelled to explore and expose what all the different “faces” of fraud and corruption included in such scams might look like? Whether this insidious type of deception has touched your life, or not, it’s alarming just to contemplate that these very damaged and depraved individuals, who set out to create such elaborate traps like the ones Bernie Madoff (and Al) put into motion, are out there in the world either waiting for, or actively seeking their next prey. Because I discovered first hand, and was at the mercy of the “so-called engineers” working in the legal and judicial system that manipulate all available means to obtain the distinct outcome they desire, I feel uniquely qualified to shed some much needed light on a very dark, but deserving subject. The circumstances of my divorce demanded that I “pull on my big girl panties” ages ago, and I NO LONGER naively, believe that the majority of our legal system acts altruistically; after all, a lawyer’s entire mission, career and success is measured by how zealously they represent and secure their client’s interests…I get it; I understand the motivation! What I don’t get, and God willing never will, is the acceptance of how our “Judicial system and its arbiters” somehow justify crossing the line of the oaths they’ve taken in order to put their personal goals ahead of the position(s) that they were either elected, or appointed, to serve? Justice is the “quality of being fair and reasonable” or administering “just behavior and treatment,” as defined in the dictionary. Unfortunately, and because this subject has been front and center in the “news” for the past several years, and due to a variety of media headlines recently, I’m constantly reminded of the Ahmaud Arbery case, which hails from the same area, in Glynn County, Georgia where I encountered a good bit of the “questionable justice” I cite, meted out by both lawyers, judges and Magistrate judges within that same system. It’s risky to say out loud, but I’d be willing to bet Al was extended very different judicial treatment in Glynn County, Georgia than Ahmaud Arbery, his family, his “alleged” killers, or even I experienced?
If you’re new to my blog, there may be some backstory or history to check more closely before you’ll be able to fully digest why this subject raises the little hairs at the back of my neck, causing me to reel with anxiety and feel immediately on edge? Maybe go back to some of my earlier entries and read…oh hell, never mind; almost all of my posts could provide insight, in one way or another, to the “place” where I’m about to take you, so no need to go backwards before we start moving forward on the path ahead. While I’d love for you to read, and am eager to share all my experiences with you, this post is fairly self-explanatory, even if a little complex in the intricacies involved, but I’ll break the ice by telling you that a good many of my inter-personal experiences for 5+ decades have been with individuals who share more than just a little bit in common with the narcissistic (and often sociopathic) behavior of men like my Ex, and the now departed Bernie Madoff. There’s actually a medical term and diagnosis for the condition, called “Narcissistic Personality Disorder.” As my nature dictates, I’m obsessively called to find the silver lining in life, and so…at least to that end, my good fortune is that I’ve only married once, albeit to an individual who, to perfection, personifies the definition of the term and diagnosed condition stated above. Nonetheless, the very fact that I’ve only made such a misguided choice and mistake once is the silver lining (along with my two kids) that I’m taking from this life lesson; that has to account for something, right? With the same silver lining in mind, having been married once to someone like Al was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of horror and continues to be more than enough cause to keep from falling into the same trap twice. That said, Al isn’t my only experience with the world of narcissism; my family of origin and extended family was, and still is “chock full of nuts” and narcissists? If you’re new to DearEasyDiaries and don’t know much, or any, of my backstory, which would help illuminate so many of the details that much of this blog entry elaborates upon, not to worry. I promise to be thorough and will repeat or fill in gaps of knowledge and time when warranted. I’ll do my best to connect the dots between Mr. Bernard Madoff, Al, lawyers, “justices,” narcissism, corruption, fraud and my individual experience with Ponzi schemes and the rest of it too. Even though I think the word “Ponzi” itself sounds like some kind of party game, a type of Sushi roll, or a specialty cocktail at a Speakeasy, “Ponzi” is actually the surname belonging to one of the original “cons” who received so much press exercising this particular type of “racket,” that the fairly well-known crime was named for the very man who brought the fraudulent scheme its wide-spread notoriety…a certain Mr. Charles Ponzi. “Wikipedia” describes it this way: the basic premise of a Ponzi scheme is “to rob Peter to pay Paul;” that’s a direct quote! Initially the operator pays high returns to attract new investors and does the same to entice current investors to invest more money. When new investors begin to participate, a cascade effect begins. The schemer pays a “return” to initial investors from the investments of new participants, rather than from genuine profits. The actual description goes on to detail more specifics, (which you can “google,”) but the bottom line always seems to lead to the same destination…T.R.O.U.B.L.E. Regrettably, I can unfortunately confirm that the resulting trouble part is absolutely true.
Headline: Madoff Dies in Prison…short, and to the point!
A brief segue…
Anniversaries, like all holidays or any other cause for celebration, use to symbolize something special in my life. I grew up in a family that celebrated “within the octave;” which was the equivalent of celebrating an occasion for 8 days before the event and 8 days after…usually reserved for Birthdays, but special circumstances could be adjusted to apply the “octave” concept to any big event. Al, (my ex) did decidedly, NOT share the same sentimental attachment to tradition that I felt, nor had he grown up with the same kind of background I did. I confess to being a bit of a “slow study” at times, and it took me far too long to catch on regarding the extent of Al’s disdain for celebrating momentous occasions, so when I did catch on, it was already too late. Al had a distinct way in which he could turn something extraordinary into something different that felt like nothing more than a tedious, but necessary ritual, or a never-to-be-missed opportunity to trifle with someone else’s feelings or manipulate a situation. His skill at belittling excessive enthusiasm for anything, not strictly of his own choosing, was textbook-worthy. I may have been born at night, but it was not last night; when needing to adjust to uncomfortable and seemingly unchangeable environments, I’m usually wise enough to know how to adapt. I eventually became bitten and embittered by the same “party-pooper bug,” so to speak that held Al captive, if only to avoid the constant disappointment that false hope and expectation can bring. I don’t remember which occasion it was (and, it’s so out of character that I don’t have a note for reference) but on this one particular time that I’m sharing, Al gifted me a beautiful necklace. What I remember, more vividly than the necklace or any of the other details of that instance, was the sad, distant and even vacant look in Al’s eyes when I opened the gift. After I leaned over to kiss and thank Al, I started to put the necklace on, but I was suddenly struck by the absence of not just a little, but ANY emotion from him AT ALL? I stopped adjusting my hair to accommodate fixing the clasp and looked directly at him before asking, “why, why are you giving me this; something feels terribly off, and you’re being so cold and distant?” He answered me briefly before rising and turning to leave the room, but all he said was “I don’t know!” That was it, the extent of any explanation or understanding that I was given on that particular occasion, and it would become a recurring theme as events would unfold in the future.
The little bit of Birthday “hoopla” that I loved to create for my kid’s special days.
Hopefully the “sting” that that moment left me feeling never impacted the celebrations I tried to create for our children, but it did diminish much of the joy I might have otherwise felt for my own birthdays, anniversaries and the like. Aside from the icy detachment that accompanied that one specific instance, Al, otherwise, took great joy in relentless teasing, shaming and condescension directed at me regarding my family and specifically my Mom’s love to celebrate and her zeal for entertaining. Al was quick to belittle our family traditions, exclaiming “your ‘shanty, lace-curtain Irish’ family, and your Mom’s obsessive need to entertain is too much! Why is it necessary to always have a party before the party! Nothing is ever enough; why can’t one gathering be enough for you people,” he would ask? Over time, the repeated ridicule became akin to throwing a wet blanket over the sparkling candles on a cake, and it didn’t take long before the flame burned out all on its own, before ever even really being ignited.
Albeit a “tad” crass, this statement helps sum up the motivation for the anniversary gift described below…
It was a few years later, the date on my Cottage 64 kitchen, countertop calendar revealed that it was November 28, 2004, signaling that another wedding anniversary was upon us. Not wanting to feel like a completely unsentimental or unloving bitch, I knew I had to gift Al something, so I thought perhaps a little bit of humor to commemorate another turn of the calendar might be a new and novel approach that Al would appreciate? With that in mind, I found at one of my local St. Simon’s favorite brick and mortar spots, a quintessentially unique gift, and one which happened to, ironically, be a “sign;” one which would eventually become incredibly prophetic. It was not a fancy, large or ostentatious sign, rather a simple, long rectangular board painted in a deep red that stated in bold, white block letters, “Marriage is a three-ring circus…engagement ring, marriage ring and suffering.” I thought it was sort of funny, (I guess I must have inherited my Dad’s dry wit) but it actually turned out to be one of the few of many gifts that I gave to Al over the years, that he actually seemed to like. 2004 had been one of our “good” years, and Al accepted the levity of the gift as I had hoped he would, with frivolity. I never could have guessed just how appropriate the sentiment that that one sign conveyed would become? Later on I considered the realization that maybe that silly sign should have struck me much differently, with far greater warning and a more significant impact…like a bat to the head, perhaps? Or, maybe it was some form of manifestation? Uh oh, there goes my ADD again…that’s a topic for another time.
It’s true, the signs are almost always there; whether we choose to see them or not is something entirely different!
This past Friday was the 14th, which prior to September 14, 2007 would have meant nothing more to me than the passing of any other day. Now, however, that date will serve as a reminder of another anniversary, one which marks both the commencement and passing of a whole boatload of trouble…..“Titanic-type” of trouble, if you will! What trouble you ask? If you’ve read any of my past blog entries, you may recognize the significance of the date? But it’s not September, it’s not 2007 and today is not even the 14th? I know, I know! This time, the date the 14th represents is the passing of, and a touchstone recalling the horrific events that were triggered by the evil machinations of a “master manipulator,” surely a narcissistic, Al-like being. The significance of that person will become abundantly clear in short order.
The headline which caused one heck of a “domino effect!” Thirteen years following his arrest, Madoff was gone, once and for all, on April 14, 2021.
Quoting the ‘apnews.com,’ “Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff, the infamous ‘architect’ of an epic securities swindle that burned thousands of investors, outfoxed regulators and earned him a 150-year prison term, died behind bars early Wednesday. He was 82.” April 14, 2021 ~ By MICHAEL BALSAMO and TOM HAYS
What does the significance of Bernie Madoff’s demise have to do with me? Why do I care, and why would I bother to raise such a distasteful person or issue here? What could I possibly have in common with Bernie Madoff? The answer is nothing… I don’t have a single thing in common with Bernie Madoff…personally! Curiously, though, there is a thread of familiarity between Mr. Madoff’s story, which draws disturbing parallels, and is reminiscent of some of my own personal legal experience and history. Well, it’s actually Al’s history, so by extension my own, and how the “Madoff effect,” or “made-off effect” impacted me, my children, our lives and many others, too, for several years. Again, I find both “effects,” whether Madoff or Al, and their manipulative treachery to be predictable “triggers” which still reach perilously close to the core of my being. Elaborate schemes are not just the hallmark of financiers like Madoff, or men like Al. Many, many people, past and present, have orchestrated and perpetrated financial crimes of all types. Racketeering, money laundering, embezzlement, art fraud, tax evasion and many other “white-collar” crimes occur every day. That’s not news, but what WAS news on March 24, 2009 was the letter my legal counsel and I received from Al’s Glynn County, Georgia legal counsel (just 6 months following our September 2008 divorce) informing us, and I quote, “Al had discovered that he, along with approximately 20 other innocent investors was the ‘victim’ of a ‘Ponzi’ scheme similar to the one perpetrated by Bernard Madoff,” who curiously enough had just been recently arrested and indicted. Madoff was arrested on December 11, 2008, he pled guilty to 11 federal felonies and admitted to turning his wealth management business into a massive Ponzi Scheme. Mr. Madoff was convicted on March 12, 2009, (just a few weeks prior to my receiving notice of Al’s “alleged victimization.”) The amount missing from Madoff’s client accounts was almost $65 billion, and an “ex-trader” admitted in court to FAKING (that specific term seems particularly noteworthy and relevant to K. Ass and Al) records for Madoff since the early 1970’s. Those charged with recovering the missing money believe that the investment operation may NEVER have been legitimate. Really, you don’t say? (Apart from my sidebar and slightly sarcastic tone, the previous several sentences and information were taken directly from “Wikipedia.”)
Begging your indulgence at this letter’s condition? I poured over and attempted to dissect these types of “legal bombshells” for years, while this mess was going on.
The coincidence, or lack of coincidence, gave me pause for thought, and was nothing if not downright disturbing? When looking back at the quote from the “APNews,” noting the dates of his discovery and rereading the phrasing of Mr. Madoff’s infamy as the “architect” of an epic securities fraud, and then looking a little deeper into the background of Madoff, there were some freakishly striking parallels between Bernie and Al that might be drawn?
Apart from the immediate wave of despair and disbelief that swept over me after reading that damn letter in March of 2009, as the reality of such news would most certainly bring more delay and further fan the flame of Al’s refusal to comply with our MSA, to an even greater degree that we had already experienced, I felt almost numb. The kids and I had, by then moved three times in six months with NO “sign” of resolution in sight; my outstanding attorney’s fees remained in the six digit zone; I still had NONE of my personal belongings, nor the kids special items, awarded us in the MSA but still located in the multiple houses where they were kept; the count of POTENTIAL properties that I was “entitled or supposed to” have purchased and called “home” by this time was upwards of four, and while only ONE home was provided for in the MSA, (or wanted or needed) all the open and closed escrows/contracts now symbolized a seemingly never ending list of more disappointment and frustration, attributing to the countless purchases of Motrin bottles that would be added to the night chest drawers in Rentals #1, #2, and #3; need I go on? My list of cause for the unrelenting, severe headaches was both miles and months long. Emily was approaching the end of her Senior Year of high school, with upwards of 18 college applications out for response; her essay topic for each application was entitled “From Seven Houses To A Suitcase” and was a poignant reminder that divorce, particularly nasty, contentious ones like the one Emily, and we all, had just endured, do NOT just affect the spouses. PJ was trying to adjust to his new school, but was obviously struggling emotionally and academically, and I was left doing double duty as both mother and father (24/7), as well as feeling very responsible for the absence of my kid’s “father figure,” who, for all intent and purposes, seemed to have divorced our children along with me. My family of origin was getting VERY, VERY comfortable inserting their opinions regarding my each and every decision, whether solicited or not, and while I was grateful for their concern and support, I was no longer the same naïve 29-year old who had gotten involved with Al, so long ago. Life was different, very different, and I was more aware than ever that… I neither wanted nor needed to be controlled ever again. Also, to be completely transparent and illustrate yet another need for the addition of Motrin to my daily diet, NO-ONE…not my children, nor my family of origin, nor the friends who originally made the introduction, were terribly enthused (EXTREME UNDERSTATEMENT) about “the guy” (there were a variety of descriptive labels others applied to him, but none were complimentary nor something I’d care to share) who I had begun to date. In hindsight, it was true, and “they” were all correct; he was definitely not an ideal, or remotely close to appropriate choice for me to be considering or seeing, but when you’ve been ignored for long enough, any scrap of attention is both tempting and intoxicating. Those times…they were definitely NOT the best of times and newly worsened with yet the addition of another significant legal issue (that had already captured national attention, whether merited or not) being added to the “heap!”
This headline and article appeared in the New York Post. Most notably, I contend that the last sentence is “patently false” as Al admitted in a July 2009 deposition, he had been receiving an additional $120,000 in monthly income for years, as a direct result of those investments? Additionally, Al’s own Glynn County, Georgia lawyer PUT IN WRITING evidence to the contrary of what was stated in the article shown above? What, or who, was the source of that reporting, I wonder?
I couldn’t believe it; was this really happening, could it possibly be true? Had Al been swindled, deceived and robbed of millions of our marital property, that I was never even made aware of, over the almost decade of time (2001-2008) when the “fraud” allegedly occurred? All good questions, and questions which were not answered satisfactorily for many more years to follow, if ever?
Regardless of the drama and setting aside the other aspects of “real life” for a moment, the legal details of this new Al “trick” were rapidly seeping into the content and routine of my multiple daily lawyer emails, calls, and every other facet of insanity resulting from these, seemingly never-ending legal woes. Al’s lawyers were relentless in their assault on each aspect of my life, my future, and their carefully calculated moves were not just enabling, but advancing Al’s successful dodging of any adherence to our MSA. All of “IT” was rapidly gnawing away at the modicum of resolve I had left. My misguided notion that those two days of mediation, which resulted in my signing away any and all tangible assets, or other “real property” in exchange for Al’s “promise to pay,” or more precisely, our mediated, Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA) which provided that Al would buy (“using his real estate agent, his negotiating prowess, and his financing skills” – the irony of that phrase is almost too much in the midst of this specific blog post) a home of my choosing; a payout of monies over a series of years; my hand-drafted list of “personalty,” along with the personal objects asked for by our children, and carefully detailed during the 2nd day of our mediation, was obviously not going to prove a smart decision on my part. The thoughtfully considered and negotiated package of requirements regarding our children’s future which were absolute “musts,” and had been stipulated by me from the beginning in order to ensure my participation in the mediation at all, might have ended up being the only part of the two day mediation which DIDN’T result in total failure? That mistake, my wishful thinking, and misplaced faith that even a sliver of integrity lived within Al, together with my original purpose to secure a fresh, new start was rapidly eroding into nothing more than a mirage, far, far off and quickly vanishing into the distance? At least my one “non-negotiable item,” being the provision protecting my kid’s health insurance and education through college was safe. Thank heavens, I got that right.
While this bizarre “fantasy and Ponzi scam” was being “pitched” in newspapers, the internet, from lawyer to lawyer throughout three different states, I was still obsessing over the promises that had been made, broken, and were now creating more stress and chaos in the kids and my lives than I knew how to stoically endure. I was fast approaching all-out depression and an emotional crash; it was everything I could do to get through each day, with the cloud of questions, doubts, and more bad news building exponentially by the minute. Then too I was obsessed with concern for my kids, who had no idea the extent of how dire our situation was, nor the whereabouts of their father? Al had all but completely disappeared from their lives, probably so as to hurriedly and thoroughly engineer this new rabbit hole of deception. My resolve might have been taking a brutal beating, but my goal was still clear and unwavering; I was determined to try and make my kid’s lives as normal as possible…but there was soooo nothing normal about our lives, or any of the circumstances in general! My family of origin was getting “tricky” too; it was becoming more and more difficult to listen to the endless string of recommendations, criticisms, platitudes, as well as the judgement that oozed from their mouths and stares each time, I made mention of dinner plans or a date with Bobby, my ill-suited “suitor;” pun intended! It was no longer possible for me to ignore the growing hostility and distance that was quickly turning a once narrow stream into a wide gulf separating me, my attempts to keep my kids lives somewhat sane, my juggling of lawyers and legal battles, from the rest of the world, including my family of origin, friends, the various school projects I had volunteered to participate in, or any other social involvements I might have previously enjoyed. My life became singularly focused around attempting to remain a remotely decent Mother while resisting Al’s efforts to break me.
This one email, while fraught with legal issues, still elicits a slight smile, each time I read the word “poppycock” and am again reminded that several lawyers were more than aware of Al’s bottom line… “will stop at nothing to try to deprive you of your rights under the MSA!”
It would take several years, ten to be exact, before I was able to look back and really examine and analyze the details of that “alleged” Ponzi/Rico suit, and Al’s ginormous bag of additional games/tricks that, originally, held the power to paralyze me. His overwhelming need to crush and destroy me wouldn’t prove to be 100% successful, but his efforts and all-out assault tactics required that I summon every ounce of courage and emotional fortitude I could muster…day after day after day. My survival required that I excise anyone who had even the most remote affiliation with Al from my life entirely. No-one who had a tie to Al could be in my life.
Wise words…
I had to distance myself in a way that would ensure my safety, while still trying to arbitrate and even encourage a relationship between Al and our two children, whenever possible? Believe me when I say, co-parenting with a Narcissist is like spending each day walking a tight-rope. That endeavor will certainly be material for another post; so let’s get back to the business of “Ponzi schemes,” and the “crazymaking!” It may seem absurd, or contrived, to you that it took that long to gain the perspective I needed to acknowledge and reexamine all those hundreds of thousands of details, (and dollars) but if it wasn’t due to protecting the kids and myself, it was because during that period from 2007 – 2019, the seemingly insurmountable obstacles I faced daily, if not hourly, sucked every ounce of courage from my very being. Those years played host to a nasty separation, contentious divorce proceeding in TWO states; a jurisdictional war, subsequent mediation, and Settlement Agreement; my kids and I were bounced between four rentals in two years, with none of our own belongings; the ongoing reality of being served with legal challenge after legal challenge from 2007 – 2016 and beyond, and lastly the demise of my relationship with many members of my family of origin, in addition to the loss of many other persons, who had previously played substantial roles in my life. Also over the course of those same years, I was obliged to engage teams of lawyers in two different states to address the multiple post-divorce challenges Al presented. His refusal to adhere to our MSA, the alleged Ponzi-scheme action, his 4-year bankruptcy case, and the two subsequent Court Motions filed by Al to vacate and dismiss our original Settlement Agreement, back in Glynn County, Georgia all required “lawyering.” It was nothing, if not an unfathomable sh** show! Trying to stay on track, and remotely sane in the midst of it all felt daunting, if not impossible. What no one tells people like me, (and/or, you, but hopefully, you’ll NEVER need to know) is that filing for bankruptcy places an “automatic stay” on enforcement of any other financial obligations of the “so-called” bankrupt person while they are granted time and opportunity to “restructure.” If you ask me, it’s like the Bankruptcy system becomes a kind of conduit providing for certain types of “creative” accounting to occur, granting the debtor yet another opportunity and more time to skip out on their legal and financial obligations…but then, nobody asked me! All of that legal maneuvering meant I could not pursue ANY enforcement of the provisions that the MSA awarded me through Family Court, at least not until Al’s bankruptcy case was closed…four years later. That too deserves exploration in greater depth at another time; there is much more that I can and will impart about Al’s Bankruptcy ruse! Whether that has any direct correlation to this Ponzi post, and why I’m sharing it today, remains to be seen? I guess it could be that all of the legal maneuvering was so intertwined that it made a singular focus on any one issue impossible!
Four years in Bankruptcy court, added to the three and a half years spent in separation, divorce, and then post-divorce proceedings have a way of numbing you to the reality of the legal maze that I was forced to navigate and which seemed endless. I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned before that math is not my strong suit, but simple addition I can handle, and in total, the sum of those years added up to seven and a half years, or 2735 days spent wrangling the legal system, with another two years, 730 days left before my MSA was completed. It’s exhausting to relive it while I write this, so imagine what going through it the first time was like? None of the details and legal minutiae I’ve outlined contemplates any personal life I may or may not have had; it also doesn’t reveal the very real life and inter-personal challenges my kids and I were experiencing as a unit; it doesn’t tell the tale of my family of origin, nor the distance and judgement that was dissolving my relationship with my sisters; and it definitely doesn’t explain my “compulsion to people-please,” to overdo, or to be overly generous with the needy people, or “takers” in life, nor did it account for my desperate attempts to overcompensate for my shame at being divorced, while still attempting to create a world where my kids and I “fit?”
What all those years and legal entanglements did do, was make it possible, no…necessary, to hide from, block out, or compartmentalize, the ugly details of Al’s charades, like the “alleged” Ponzi scheme. If I had not been consumed with legal fees, the lies and contortions of Al, the day-to-day survival and well-being of my children and myself, there’s probably a fairly decent chance, I’d have noticed and dug up more details when the letter arrived in March of 2009 regarding “poor Al’s victimization in a Madoff-type Ponzi scheme!” My guess is I would have recognized that the name of one of the Ponzi “masterminds” was the same name as one of the lawyers from the Bandar days, whose name was on a rolodex in Al’s office and whose family was a staple on our Christmas card list. We sent a Christmas card every year to the Goldman family in Garden City, New York, because Mr. Goldman had been one of the many members of Al’s legal team in 1993, representing Al in the Embezzlement suit served against him by Prince Bandar. The same attorney, now being identified and accused of embezzling from Al in 2009, was one of the original attorneys who represented Al, when it was he (Al) who was sued for embezzlement from Prince Bandar in 1993? Could things get more screwy or complicated than that? It seems unlikely, but yes, they could, and they did. Red flags definitely would have been raised, neon signs lit up, and a huge fuss made, had I known that Mr. Goldman was disbarred from the legal profession in 2003, and yet, K. Ass (“Al’s longtime friend and accountant”) still advised Al to invest large sums of money with Mr. Goldman et al. from 2001 thru 2008…REALLY? What ethical (key word) CPA, much less friend does that? Furthermore, I would have been particularly enraged and indignant to learn that K. Ass was not just Al’s accountant, but the accountant for Mr. Goldman and the “Ponzi-crew” the entire time as well. I’m no legal expert or mastermind of anything, but that’s just nuts, and reeks of foul play from ALL involved parties, for more reasons than I can begin to enumerate? When I think back, I know at the time I questioned many of those little oddities, but knowing what I know now, I would have raised a huge “STINK” about all the peculiarities that presented themselves with that outrageous Ponzi/Rico suit, if I just hadn’t been so immersed in the mire and the extraordinary challenges that each or any random day presented regarding the immediate survival of my kids and me. Every one of those incongruous circumstances would have caught my attention, been questioned, dissected and investigated in great depth had I not been torn in so many conflicting directions while trying even more desperately to maintain some normalcy for my children, and addressing the myriad of legal issues I was dealt daily, including even the simplest of questions, like where my children and I would lay our heads each night? My life was overwhelmed with a thousand uncanny anomalies from minute to minute, and I struggled continuously just to keep my head above water?
The long and the short of it all, was that Al’s Rico/Ponzi suit was “Dismissed With Prejudice;” but not before consuming hundreds of thousands of hours, dollars and headaches. I’m curious now, too, whether K. Ass paid ANY PRICE at all for the scam he set into motion, or was he, too, maybe a beneficiary of the “alleged” scheme? He was still Al’s “guy” as far into the future as 2012; who knows what that REALLY means?
It’s absolutely baffling to consider that K. Ass, having been included in every single aspect and negotiation of Al’s 1993 embezzlement suit, obviously knew Mr. Goldman, and was later exposed for having worked for both Mr. Goldman as well as Al from 2001 through 2008? That’s the same time frame recounted in the Ponzi/Rico suit paperwork wherein Al named Mr. Goldman and the couple other “Ponzi defendants.” K. Ass would undoubtedly have known about Goldman being disbarred, as he was Goldman’s accountant at the time? Yet, Al’s Ponzi suit is oddly silent regarding K. Ass’s “playing for both sides” of the “Ponzi/Rico” team. Are we really expected to “buy-in” to the story that Al’s “longtime friend and accountant,” K. Ass would have advised Al to invest millions of dollars with an enterprise for which K. Ass was both employed, and in essence representing, as well as shielding factual evidence of Mr. Goldman’s previous disbarment? No way…that’s an astonishingly far reach and tough story for anyone to peddle, even Al?
That’s a lot of real estate and coin for something that all went up in smoke?
It’s also unfathomable to me, (now that I know) that during the entire pendency of our separation and divorce proceeding, Al continued to send several large installments of money Mr. Goldman’s way. Even just a week following Al’s open-heart surgery and valve replacement, he sent hundreds of thousands of dollars Goldman’s way? I’m aware that my “honorary degree” as a “rocket scientist” has yet to be awarded, however, there’s nothing about the equation I’ve just outlined, which filled multiple pages of several legal motions and complaints, and prompted a “Rico” indictment, which could ever add up? Forget for a moment, that the action of filing for divorce in most states, mandates an “automatic stay” be placed on the couple’s finances, so no “funny business” or “unexplained disappearance of assets” should occur…forget that, because it wouldn’t have, and didn’t matter to Al anyway. But what about the financial disclosures that Al and K. Ass provided, and which were “relied upon” during our two days of mediation; why didn’t they mention the somewhere between $10 Million to $15 Million dollars (“they” never could decide on an exact figure) of our marital estate that had been “invested,” from 2001 - 2008? Why was it only later revealed in a requisite deposition that Al’s (he also never could quite bring himself to say “OUR”) monthly income was an additional $120,000 richer for the added New York investments? Also, too, the child support worksheet used during our two days of mediation only mentioned $40,000 per month income, once again provided by Al and K. Ass; that other number, the additional $120,000 per month… that might have been a figure worth mentioning, and/or including in that child support calculation?
Another perplexing detail that I find myself keep coming back to, and which is freakishly difficult to swallow is that K. Ass was involved from Day 1 (or, for at least as long as I was in Al’s life) handling ALL the financial aspects of first Al’s, then our married life, and finally through all the divorce, Ponzi mess and subsequent bankruptcy…making K. Ass the COMMON DENOMINATOR in the entire lengthy financial drama and saga that was engineered and perpetuated over at least 15, but likely far more years, and resulted in Al’s alleged “victimization” in a Ponzi scheme as well as an “alleged” bankruptcy? It should be both unthinkable, as well as unacceptable! I suppose, though, it helps shine a light on just how it happened that Al might have engineered the Embezzlement against his Saudi Arabian, “buddy/brother,” Prince Bandar? K. Ass’s “expertise” most likely had its hand in everything, going all the way back to 1993…WOW? Surely just another one of my A.D.D. moments, but…there are many animals in the world, whose names people bear, as surnames…Bear, Fox, Ass; it’s ironic isn’t it, that Al’s dear friend and CPA is an “Ass?”
I’m being repetitive here, and I apologize, but it takes a time or two to see the facts laid out right in front of you to fully grasp what was “alleged” to have transpired. SO MANY QUESTIONS? First, in the 1993 embezzlement suit served on Al, when Goldman was a member of Al’s legal team, and K. Ass was Al’s accountant. Moving forward, K. Ass continued acting as accountant for BOTH Al and Goldman… from at least 2001 going forward through 2008/2009, when Al “found himself the unlikely, but alleged victim” of Goldman’s Ponzi/Rico scheme? Lastly, it’s nothing if not blindingly absurd that Al would have continued using K. Ass as his accountant, if it was actually TRUE that K. Ass was the reason, (referring to K. Ass’s recommendation of the Goldman entity as an investment vehicle) behind Al’s transferring huge amounts of money for almost a decade? Then “poof,” suddenly Al becomes a victim in Goldman’s Ponzi scheme, resulting in an alleged financial loss of $10 - $15 Million of Al’s (our) marital estate? I maintain there is ABSOLUTELY NO-ONE one who knows anything about Al, his temper, his background, the wrath he felt after crumbling under Prince Bandar’s Embezzlement Suit and resulting legal/financial predicament of 1993; the indignant IRE, if not hatred, that Al felt for “the fat rat” who engineered Prince Bandar’s “take-down” of Al’s empire; again, there is NO ONE who would ever begin to contemplate that K. Ass could POSSIBLY be alive, much less still involved in Al’s financial dealings and business affairs, had the scam gone the way it was alleged? If K. Ass had indeed been the impetus for Al’s enormous investment and potential financial loss to Goldman, there was surely another angle, motive and gain for both Al and K. Ass behind the scheme that was never publicly discovered. The only explanation that begins to make any sense whatsoever of the “how and why” that K. Ass could still be involved in Al’s financial dealings is (stay with me here) if the whole Ponzi “sham” Al and K. Ass cooked up (you know, like “cooking the books”) was an elaborate ruse to hide dubious 1031 Exchanges, make false IRS claims, and in return receive HUGE tax refunds? NOW, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A THEORY THAT HOLDS WATER!!! That very premise is also what the other co-defendant (and a lawyer for Goldman) in Al’s alleged Ponzi scam detailed in his lengthy legal briefs, motions and documents submitted to the New York courts during the timeframe when the Ponzi lawsuit was occurring, and from which HE was exonerated?
While such an endeavor does involve fraud, corruption, and the unfortunate reality that multiple persons and entities, other than just myself, fell prey to a “maniacal move,” resulting in hardship, financial loss, and emotional trauma at the hands of Al and K. Ass…it’s also actually the only plot that could be painted with broad enough strokes of plausibility to bring the plan and painting to life?
What’s equally curious about this confusing mess of deception, is that Al’s shortlist of “dream team” advisors throughout most of the course of our union, from at least the millennial year 2000 and on; surely through our entire divorce, the inexplicable 5 – 7 year aftermath, including the “Ponzi” puzzle, B/K sham and variety of other “headaches” remains fairly consistent and while dozens of bodies were around or somewhat involved, only a few “KEY PLAYERS” are heavily featured. The several “also ran’s,” are people like Billy Ray, Geno, Morty, "A.B,” T. Perv, Bubba 3, Barnie, and Mel, an almost equal mix of California and Georgia weasels, all having some real estate/legal/vehicle-type background as the “common glue.” Oops, I can’t go and forget Al’s varying assortment of “flavors of the month;” surely Candy was happy to receive the sizable real estate commissions she “earned” during the last couple years of my marriage to Al! Otherwise, of the serious players, K. Ass tops the list, and “Miss Piggy” (MP) surely played some small, supporting, yet insignificant, role, but it was also the Legal/Judicial involvement of Al’s divorce counsel/magistrate judge that figured so inexplicably and predominantly through each little twist and turn of the past decade (plus), that gives me pause. This player, we’ll call him “Player H” borrowing a page from the “Molly’s Game” movie, (one on my new list of rotation, and a favorite you really should see!) Anyways, “Player H” figures in this particular post from start to finish, and as I’m left contemplating the odd and often twisted ways the legal and judicial system turns in it’s own wake, it’s more than a little apparent that the figureheads are not always (particularly in Glynn County, Georgia) held accountable for the devious ends that are employed in the execution of certain cases. I can’t trace, or document, Player H’s close association to Al any further back than the early 2000’s, but he, doubtless, was one of the threads that held Al’s complicated world together, certainly from 2002 thru the tedious trail of divorce, to Ponzi, B/K and beyond! It was his office which was used during our two days of Mediation prior to reaching our MSA; it was his signature on the letter informing my legal counsel and me that “poor Al” was the victim of a Ponzi scheme; it was his name on that last page of Al’s first Motion To Amend our Settlement Agreement in Glynn County, during November of 2010, followed by his signature to the same motion, but with the new disclosure, “Dismissed With Prejudice.” It was also HIS name on the letter sent directly to me in 2012, although I was already represented by counsel (a BIG “no no” in legal land) regarding a “second stab at the apple” so to speak…while once again seeking “leave” of our MSA back in Georgia! My own counsel was particularly fired up by that infraction, and rightfully so, as Player H had been elevated from mere lawyer to the Judicial Level by that time, and as such “should have known better!”
Regardless, Player H persisted and sought Authority from California’s Bankruptcy Court to revisit the issue of Amending Al’s and my MSA in Georgia for the 2nd time; I know this is all incredibly tedious and I’m beyond appreciative that you’re sticking with me…please hang in there? It may seem insignificant, but it’s NOT; when a legal motion is “dismissed with prejudice,” it means the subject court motion/case is closed, finished, over, done! “No more fishing permitted.” That was the “upshot” from the first time Player H made the Motion to Amend/Vacate Al’s and my Georgia MSA Judgement… “dismissed with prejudice,” simple; it meant, THIS CASE IS DECIDED…YOU ARE DONE! Player H. didn’t stop there though and his next swing at bat was not just unorthodox, but more than a little unethical too. Player H. contacted me DIRECTLY to advise of the Motion that he and Al were about to re-file in the Georgia court, even though the same motion/issue had already been heard and was subsequently “dismissed…with prejudice!” Repetitive, I know…but my point here is this: a lawyer of 55 years, a named partner in his own law firm, and then too, wearing the additional title of Magistrate Judge attached to his name, could and should have been in serious trouble engaging in that type of activity? His actions should have called into question Player H’s entire career, his legal reputation, and his relatively new Judicial status regarding a matter, which was at best unethical, and at worst, cause for judicial review and discipline! That’s a strong set of improper actions and circumstances which I’ve detailed, and if I could sugar coat it, calling it “Ex-Parte” I would, but at the end of the day, the result remains the same…Player H’s conduct was FLAT OUT WRONG! If you or I were to try to execute some wrong-doing or action like that, you can bet we would be held liable, 100%, all day long…guaranteed. We would most likely face charges, substantial consequences and/or fines; but, not for Player H! He received nothing more than a mild email scolding from my legal counsel, and probably a pat on the back and some hearty cheers among his cronies back in Glynn County, Georgia. As it happens, California’s B/K court did NOT extend Player H the authority for funds to revisit the Georgia case, but that was it…no serious repercussions for Player H, or Al, beyond their request getting denied? That miniscule chain of events, and violation of procedure probably cost me in the neighborhood of $15,000 - $18,000 dollars in legal fees, not to mention the addition of several more gray hairs to my brunette head, and several nights of lost sleep…but that was my problem!
It wasn’t actually until just a few months ago, when I realized the extent of corruption that was so pervasive throughout those years, and the staggering amount of deceit consumed by, Al’s scam/game/circus… call it what you will? It’s truly frightening to think how long I spent being with someone that I REALLY DID NOT KNOW at all. I deduced from the years I spent jumping through hoops during the whole scheme of divorce events, and watching the same players go round and round on Al’s crazy train during the years from 2007 thru 2014, how unfazed they all were by any call for integrity, scruples or issues of legality, but I had no idea how long the whole deception had existed, prior to the divorce proceedings, much less the aftermath. The players on Al’s “dream/scheme team,” including “Player H,” K. Ass and assorted others, executed their playbook with precision, and for almost a decade, whether it was a cooked up “Ponzi sham,” a dubious Bankruptcy proceeding, or a questionable Foreclosure, Al’s circle of corrupt “players” played their parts beautifully. His team was so busy moving the emphasis from target to target, even my lawyers grew weary of the chase, and tired of my constant questioning of events. I don’t know about you, but if I were making between $600-$800 per hour, and was going on six-seven years of service, I gotta believe I’d have retained some, even if only slight, motive to stay incentivized and interested?
The last straw broke, and my “Give A Damn” was finally busted when after looking at the same set of emails and documents for days, months and years; comparing back and forth materials and information that seemed so disjointed and unrelated; I finally began accepting why a few of my attorneys became so fed up with my persistent pleas and later on, my demands to dig deeper, insisting that foul play was at work! I realized that no-one, other than me, really cared to find out the scope of the bigger picture? Each of my attorneys was working within their little isolated arena of specialty and doing the best they could in that specific forum, but NONE of them were equipped, nor cared, to see how each piece of this very disjointed puzzle might eventually fit together, as a whole. By the time this “come to Jesus moment” of mine arrived, Al’s B/K case was closed, my son was already off to college, there were other matters calling my attention, and I was all “lawyered out!” In December of 2019, when my son graduated from college, and it was finally official that all my legal ties to, or requirements of Al, were satisfied, I sat down one day and wrote a not-so-brief, “bullet point” outline of the years I spent juggling balls that were never to be dropped, climbing over obstacle after obstacle to reach some unspecified finish line, dodging the hits (both large and small) that were lobbed my way, and I was probably seven to eight pages deep in “bullet points” before I realized, I HAD to purge my brain of all that garbage! My heart had healed from Al’s abuse, and I was emotionally long since over Al, but my mind was still not able to reconcile the unfathomable amount of inconsistencies and questions that were never answered, nor the damage done to children and relationships, even twelve years after our divorce. As I’ve said over and over again, that’s the beauty of the therapy I’m finding through DearEasyDiaries. The reality is that whether I write this and no one sees it, or whether 60, or 60,000 people might happen to see and read it (maybe even follow along), with every word that I get out of my brain and out into the open, I’m validating what happened, my kid’s experience and pain, and hopefully encouraging someone else, in the meantime, to keep going? IT IS POSSIBLE for you, too, to find ways to cope, survive, and grow strong again. The Bernie Madoffs and the Al’s of the world aren’t worthy of the power we give them, nor the poison which they seem to take delight in spreading around…period. All the scams and schemes they exact, and use to further their goals, undermine their families, or even destroy people, will eventually come back around to land squarely at their feet. Those two and the others like them, the K. Ass’s, the “MP’s” or the Player H’s, will someday discover they really “made-off” with nothing; at least nothing that is of lasting value!
“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
In the meantime, that stupid, nagging question of Al’s being the victim of a Ponzi scheme is going to be addressed and answered right now. It can go in either one of two ways. If anyone reads this and is a real estate attorney or CPA and happens to draw the SAME conclusion I have found, please contact me at my blog address and confirm…PLEASE? I promise it will stay between you and DearEasyDiaries.
Scheme 1.) Al and K. Ass did engineer a scam to hide 1031 Exchanges and exact tax fraud; thus setting into motion an elaborate game, using an already disbarred attorney with little left to lose and the potential of taking the immediate fall for a bigger gain down the road? Seeing as how Al already was pretty skilled at the practice of embezzlement (1993 and Prince Bandar) and also knew other men who had taken such falls, even attempted suicide, and still managed to bounce back, as well as knowing how best (or who best) to use while navigating one’s way through the legal system; that scenario is the one that gets my vote. It would also explain why K. Ass was still doing Al’s bidding in 2012, even though Al was “victimized” by the alleged “Ponzi” scheme in 2008/2009…right? If Al ACTUALLY had been a victim and K. Ass had played any part of the process in which Al “LOST” somewhere between $10 MILLION TO $15 MILLION dollars, I’d place a pretty hefty bet that K. Ass would be chained to a large chunk of cement at the bottom of some river, somewhere? He would not have continued in his role as Trustee, Power of Attorney for Al in 2010, and beyond into 2012? Don’t forget though…Player H still figures in this equation too, as he was an important consideration, used to distract, and pull the old “bait and switch” trick, constantly shifting attention from one court to another, and keeping the potential of deeper investigation into Al’s games at bay. How else does one explain the following trail of documents, the parties to the documents and the timing of it all? Look closely!
145 Tidal Cove; the back and forth paperwork and players trading title from 2004 to 2012 was an interesting proposition to keep up with?
A waterfront property and house on two lots, purchased in 2004 for $290,000, with a dock, and completely INHABITABLE despite Al’s contention to my lawyer that is was “uninhabitable;” transferred in 2010, and finally foreclosed on for $90,000 in 2012…makes no sense, right? It gets even “messier” since it was appraised in January of 2012 for $215,000 by a licensed real estate appraiser, which documentation I have.
Nonetheless, that’s a lot of “party to the first party,” “acting on behalf of’s,” “where-as’s,” etc…
Scenario 2.) Should all my suppositions be wrong (which I emphatically doubt) and the entire incident happened just as Al, K. Ass, and Player H alleged that it went down, then I’ll be dammed; it’s time for me to hang up my “Nancy Drew Super Sleuth” Cape for good. At least I can take consolation that the file in my brain where all that garbage used to live rent-free, is cleared out, fresh and ready for new material!
Either way, we know how Bernie Madoff’s “show” ended; now we’re left to wait and see how the others “made-off?” Ohhhhh, and I’ve reinstated my families “Within The Octave” tradition, too. There’s absolutely no time like the present to celebrate, and it no one’s damn business if I (or you) choose to have one party or ten parties for any given occasion!
One of the properties listed as part of Al’s New York Ponzi/Rico suit; it’s a pretty place…who do you suppose ended up here?
THE END