Money, Marriage, Mafia and Saudi Arabia
November 28, 1992
Three years, two proposals, multiple break-ups, four homes, rivers of tears, betrayals, many promises, but most importantly, one beautiful child, and finally, “for better or worse”.....a marriage. The ceremony was small, (maybe 40-45 people) but beautifully, albeit quickly planned and couldn’t have been more in keeping with what marriage symbolized to me; a celebration and formal commitment that two people make when they choose to spend the rest of their lives together.
“OUR WEDDING PARTY,” WITH ALL THE PEOPLE WE EACH AND INDIVIDUALLY WANTED PRESENT.
My entire family, a few friends, the small selection of people that Al had asked to be present, all gathered amidst the dusky, early evening, lake view from our home in Rancho Santa Fe, to witness and support the union we were formalizing. No matter the troubled path that had been traveled to arrive at that juncture, I was 100% committed and determined that I could make it all work! Al’s “two most important friends in life” stood beside us as his joint Best Men, and while I would have loved the idea of my Father walking me “down the aisle,” he was there to show his support, and the fact that we weren’t in a church, that we already had a child, and because nothing else resembled a traditional wedding ceremony, it felt right that just Emily and I would walk into the future, and our life as a family together! Al’s longtime, dear friend, and business partner, Edward Stone, Jr. (also Emily’s Godfather) was immediately by his side, and his dear friend, Prince Bandar bin Fahd al Khalid, was just beyond, standing next to Ed! Both men had been in our “joint lives” from the summer of 1989, when I met Al, but had been in Al’s life for decades. Both men had spent many wonderful times, whether special occasion or random visit, in each of our homes.
“Uncle Ed” was the sweetest, most doting Godfather I’d ever seen before, and was equally happy to hold Emily as a fussy baby, or later visit with and treat her as the beautiful, and special being she grew up to be! The amount of pictures and videos he took of her, in addition to the multiple video cameras, he gifted us, (“so he’d never miss a moment”) were plentiful, to say the least. I’ll never forget our first visit, with both Emily and Ed, in Manhattan together. Ed was insistent that we visit and “introduce” Emily to the enormous collection of architectural projects that he, his father, Edward Durell Stone,Sr., and Al, had contributed to the magic that was New York City. It was absolutely touching; Emily was not even three years old, but the pride he felt for her, his place in her life and what he wanted her to remember was immeasurably special.
“Uncle Ed",” Godfather extraordinaire.
Bandar, was his own unique, kind of presence, equally happy to sit on the floor of our Long Island beach house watching Emily play, or strolling the beach with her on that little stretch of Lattingtown sandbar, between Piping Rock Beach Club and The Creek Club, which spanned the expanse of the Long Island Sound immediately adjacent. They both showered her with attention and gifts; boxes from FAO, Bergdorf’s, and Tiffany’s (little or big, all bets were off), were sent her way, and while she was awfully young to grasp the place she had secured in those two men’s hearts and lives, it was not lost, nor unappreciated, by her Mama!
Al, Prince Bandar and Emily
It couldn’t have been more shocking, or shattering, when just two months following our wedding, Al called me from La Guardia airport (following the flight that Emily and I had dropped him off to catch from San Diego earlier that morning), with a piece of staggering news; it was information to which I had no response. As Al exited the flight gate in New York, he was served, and I’m not referring to a cocktail! He had been served with a lawsuit for Embezzlement, and was sitting on the floor, propped up against a wall in the terminal, because he couldn’t quite catch his breath. I was surely not as overwhelmed, or as taken aback as Al was, but in our four+ years, together, I had never heard his voice quiver and falter as it did then? I had no words! He started, slowly, as he tried to regain his, usually strong, and sturdy self-assuredness; he was, finally, able to explain that Bandar (who just two months earlier was with us in California, standing up for Al as one of his joint best men) was suing him for EVERYTHING?
I NEVER NOTICED THE “STEEL” IN BANDAR’S GAZE WHEN I INITIALLY, AND FOR YEARS AFTERWARD, LOOKED AT OUR WEDDING PHOTOS?
When I was finally able to, even minimally, digest what Al was saying, and managed to utter a few words, I simply asked... “what can I do;” he replied briefly, “get here!” Emily and I were on the next plane out the following day, and must have spent the next seven to eight months being there in New York, both for, and with, him. The limited capacity in which we were effectively able to help Al was mostly as an emotional buffer, and the small dose of added comfort our physical presence represented was, mostly symbolic. I never saw the three other Edward Durell Stone partners again, not even Mona, the only female partner of Edward Durell Stone & Associates, (who had also been a guest at our wedding), and was a frequent “joiner” when Al, Bruce and I used to attend the lavish car concourses that were plentiful during the East Coast summer season. Al had, already, let go all of the Oyster Bay office staff, with the exception of Karel, who managed the OB Marina office; and one other EDS secretary at 20 Audrey Avenue, by the time Emily and I got there. So, between, that one secretary, Dottie (aka, Bumby, who loved the moniker that Emily had bestowed on her) and me, we sorted through paperwork, made calls (mostly to attorneys, or K. Ass, Al’s longtime accountant), and generally just tried to maintain some sense of normalcy, as we packed the contents of Al’s and the EDS firm’s history from 20 Audrey Avenue.
Ed flew in from Florida, and he and Al had lots of “private pow-wows” about assets that could be liquidated, and other items I wasn’t privy to. Plus I’m fairly certain that Ed just, straight up, wrote Al a few checks to bridge the gaping hole in the earth that seemed to be swallowing Al, the life of his business, and anything or anyone close to him, into the dark abyss that this lawsuit had created. Bruce flew in from California, and I overheard a variety of plans being discussed to liquidate and/or sign over several cars that would help to generate cash quickly. Those cars seemed almost like children to Al, if not (oddly to me) more valuable, based on the emotion which the cars and their exit seemed to stir? The Crescent was the other asset/issue that was really getting under Al’s skin, and it wasn’t just the ire I could feel spilling from Al at the thought. That specific loss represented, to Al, something deeper and darker? I overheard a serious and super scary conversation between Al and a group of “regulars” at the Crescent’s beachside bar talking about “having “him”(Bandar) taken care of? Only later, much later, did I learn that it was a virtual certainty any one of the numerous, LARGE scale architectural projects which Al had been part of in New York, were surely done with mob participation or involvement, at some juncture. Yes…it’s the REAL mob I’m referencing.
AL AND MONICA, WITH BRUCE NEARBY IN THE BACKGROUND, AT A HAMPTON’S CONCOURS…I ALWAYS TRIED TO TAKE THE PICTURES, RATHER THAN BE IN THEM.
While I was pretty sure, from the bit of history I knew about Bandar, and his position as Minister of Defense within the Saudi Arabian Military Cabinet, that Bandar was more than capable of adequately protecting himself. I wasn’t afraid for HIM, but it was the very pointed, calculated threat, not mere innuendo, between that assemblage of Italian men (garbage, bread, and linen kind-of guys…the old school, “Soprano” kind) including my new husband, participating in the conversation that opened my eyes to a whole new, sinister, and frightening level of reality, that I hadn’t previously given much, if any, consideration. Now, however, in this new “light,” and the secretive, mysterious circumstances that continued to reveal themselves, the legendary figure who also shared my new last name, seemed larger than life.
At that very moment, I thought about my sister Viv, and an expression she used to use: “she knows just enough to be dangerous!” That’s how I felt; I knew Al never gave me much credit for having a stimulating intellect, but what I don’t think he ever gave me enough credit for....was being a very good listener! He assumed, like most of my family of origin, that I would always be content to wear my assigned label of being, “the nice one!”
AL USED TO BELITTLE & CRITICIZE MY IRISH HERITAGE, IN CONTRAST TO HIS ITALIAN PRIDE…CALLING US “SHANTY TO LACE-CURTAIN IRISH.” HERE’S WHAT A FAMILY OF IRISH, RYANS AND COLLINSES, LOOKS LIKE!
Years earlier, in the early to mid ‘80’s, Al’s collection of real estate in the Oyster Bay area (and beyond) had grown exponentially. He had acquired an indoor tennis facility in Huntington, New York, to satisfy his tennis addiction, as Al could then play year-round, whether it was snowing, storming, or a stifling, humid 98* outside, plus he had a very rustic, retreat house (it always gave me a creepy vibe, so thank heavens, I only saw it twice) on a promontory in one of the lesser Hamptons, that he referred to as Southhold. Additionally, he and Ed, (as business partners) owned a Golf Club in Lusby, Maryland, called Chesapeake Hills, an unbelievably wretched place, particularly if you’re stuck there for a week in the middle of August with your 6 month old daughter, while Al and “the guys” golfed, in between meetings. There was also the Oyster Bay Marine Center, in Bayville, New York, which I believe was eventually purchased in the early 2000’s by a man named, Wang (?) who was gobbling up as much of Oyster Bay as possible. There were several other buildings, in and around that area as well; like 2/4 Spring St., a corner building, and the site for my one and only time to meet another one of Al’s treasured friends, Vince Kelly. We lunched in the little deli downstairs, and it wasn’t long afterwards, that Vince passed from Cancer. The building was also the temporary home for one of Al’s older two daughters, who lived in the little apartment on the building’s second floor. How could I ever have guessed back then the extent of what I was getting myself into? With all that I know now, together with the fraud I’ve witnessed Al exacting first hand, and with more knowledge being unearthed and discovered everyday, the extent of trouble and lawlessness that Al represents is mind-numbing. One thing is certain, it would have proven immeasurably helpful to know back then, even just a small fraction of what I know now? I’d even double down, and go so far as to say it would be a very safe bet that it was all operating under “the shade” of K. Ass’s, (Al’s accountant’s) umbrella!
I SOMETIMES WONDER, WHEN LOOKING BACK, IF THIS PROPERTY HAD ANY TIE-IN OR CONNECTION TO AL AND K. ASS’ES DUBIOUS CHAIN OF OWNERSHIP OF 145 TIDAL COVE WAY?
At some point during the 1980’s timeframe, Al was approached by a trio of men who were working on a technology invention, and needed office space, but also had very little “seed” money to spend. Jim Scoropski appeared to be the lead partner in the project, and one of the three principals in the company they had named Acclaim Entertainment, which was based on producing various games for Nintendo gaming systems. Al agreed to give Scoropski and his partners the use of excess office space which Al had available in one of his several Audrey Avenue buildings, in exchange for a “stake” in Acclaim’s future, if it ever became anything.
NOT SURE WHATEVER BECAME OF THE VENTURE, BUT BACK IN THE DAY, MY NEPHEWS FOUND AL’S INVOLVEMENT IN THIS PARTNERSHIP PRETTY COOL.
Fast forward to the early 1990’s.... I was now a “constant” in Al’s life and was spending more and more time in New York, as that was where the bulk of Al’s life took place. After we had been dating for awhile, I was still actively engaged in what was a burgeoning and promising real estate career, when Al told me that if our relationship was to continue and grow into something permanent, that I’d need to back-off of my real estate career, because he would need me to travel and spend more time in New York, as “that’s where my life and business is?” Again, if I only knew then, what I know now; “Would’ve, should’ve, could’ve”....right? Not so; there’s a reason for everything.
A LITTLE “SWAG” FROM THE TIME…WOW, CHECK OUT THOSE SHOULDER PADS?
By 1993, when the Embezzlement Suit and its “ugly little issues” arrived, Jim Scoropski, his partners and Acclaim Entertainment had made, not just a splash, but were enjoying an enormous tsunami of success which brought buckets of wealth to its principals. A modicum of that was assigned to Al, after taking the risk of lending the group office space. One of the results of that fortuitous, act of generosity resulted in “The Crescent.” At the time, it was the ONLY oceanfront beach club, spa facility, complete with restaurant, bars (interior and exterior) and event venue in the entire region. Al had spent years designing, building, furnishing and was now overseeing its operation. Technically, the facility had a GM, in addition to several other managers of each department, many chefs, service team, valet and parking staff, fitness experts, and even beach staff, who saw to the day to day operational details, but there was no detail, no matter how small, including the salt & pepper shakers, that Al hadn’t either designed, chosen, imposed his will, or outright micromanaged. The restaurant space was positioned perfectly to capture the 180* views of the Long Island Sound, and multiple dining options were available, both inside and out, as well as beachside service. Al labored and agonized for months with a well-known artist, Jordan Steckel, over sixteen hand-carved cultured basswood sculptures, and the individual design and installation of each fish, squid and manta ray that were invisibly suspended from the ceiling throughout the dining space to provide the illusion that you were literally dining under the sea, was close to incomprehensible. No detail escaped Al’s attention, from the “brand logo” to the “swag” that could be purchased in the spa and beach club gift shop, to the flatware, glassware, each dining chair, table, every single item of linen, down to the exact shirt and slacks/shorts that the valet and beach staff were to wear, etc... Al had his hand in every aspect and each detail of the enormous facility. Even the grand opening celebration was representative of his love and commitment to the facility. Nothing was too much, or beyond the scope, of what Al was determined to accomplish, as evidenced by the hour-long fireworks extravaganza for the club’s grand opening produced by the storied, global Grucci Brothers! It was nothing short of SPECTACULAR!
SUSPENDED BY FISHING LINE, THE WOODEN SCULPTURES “SWAM” THROUGHOUT THE EXPANSIVE VAULTED CEILINGS.
However, with Al now buried in the middle of an embezzlement suit, and mass of legal trouble, all resulting from “the damn Embezzlement lawsuit,” (which I still wasn’t completely sure as to the why or how it had occurred) would mark a dark and dismal time for Al and anyone in his life. The Crescent was one of the assets that Al was going to, very begrudgingly, have to sacrifice. Scoropski didn’t seem as obsessed, or even concerned with its management, as Al was? Scoropski was living high, had nothing but stuff, notoriety, and was soaking it all up, and he also had the one thing Al desperately needed to “bail himself out of the fat rat’s b.s. embezzlement charges.” Scoropski had money, and lots of it! I had learned pretty early on in our relationship that asking a bunch of questions of Al, was pretty akin to “stepping on a nail;” I’ve done both, and can say with a great deal, of confidence.....the scale is pretty balanced! I was a great listener though, once I understood that was the best option! What I learned was this... all those years of Al and Bandar’s “friendship” had also included LOTS OF MONEY…Bandar’s money! How the union began is still fuzzy, but somehow Al gained Bandar’s trust and the funds that went with it. Al invested the funds as he saw fit, and while Al (somehow?) managed to convince himself that “they were like brothers,” and everything Al did was to benefit both he and Bandar, sometime between our wedding on November 28, 1992, and early to mid-February, 1993, Bandar decided that it wasn’t so. He just disappeared…but not without getting back what was his from the start!
It was tough to wrap my mind around the action taken by one of Al’s Best Men from our wedding just a few months prior, exacting the “about face” which occurred in early ‘93? Bandar was someone we saw regularly when in New York; he was someone who sat on the floor with us, playing and entertaining my sweet daughter, as well as being one of the few people and confidants of Al, whom I spoke to on a few occasions about leaving Al. Instead of encouraging me to leave, I was persuaded by Bandar to stay, not to abandon him and leaving my daughter “fatherless” and then....this? So much left to understand. Still, all these years later, I find myself revisiting and reviewing the information I had in front of me, but couldn’t piece together in order to get an adequate concept of the bigger picture. That puzzle will always prove an enigma, but as it happens, goes perfectly with the person Al turned out to be, too.
BANDAR AND A 10 MONTH OLD EMILY, ENJOYING EACH OTHER’S COMPANY.
Why am I still thinking about this, writing about it, and exposing myself to, potentially, a ton of criticism and condemnation? A significant portion of this information and material didn’t trigger a reaction, or cause me to examine or “connect the dots” of a recurring pattern, until I became the enemy and target of Al’s crosshairs, during, and ever since our divorce proceedings in 2007/2008.
As I look back, continuing to try to sort through and make some sense of 31 years of my life, I’m left with many questions, but there are some things I know with unfailing certainty......
I know this.....plus, everyday I remember, discover, and am told more of these truths!
-Al’s accountant, K. Ass, was a part of that Embezzlement puzzle, “K” was also present during the two days of our Marital Settlement Agreement, lied in a deposition during our divorce proceeding, and is still in Al’s life today. Just wait for the day when you see a post titled “8 Shady Drive, and some very interesting ideas about the definition and benefits of 1031 Exchanges?”
-I never “saw” Prince Bandar Bin Fahd Al Khalid after the lawsuit; which Al ended up settling, even though he had to liquefy and lose so many of the monetary and symbolic assets, that I would learn later on, were actually Bandar’s from the beginning.
-Al was also forced to “cash out” his share of The Crescent in order to generate enough cash to reach a Settlement with Bandar, but settle he did!
-I know Al is a sociopathic Narcissist, and uses people, like “tennis towels,” (you’d have to have lived through the 30+ years of picking up dirty towels from Al’s twice daily tennis habit) all disposable.... just as his own children, women.....wives, and mistresses, are!
OH THOSE TENNIS TOWELS… THEY FAR OUTWEIGHED THE RARE DISPLAYS OF FATHERHOOD.
-I know… Al has only been with all four of his children twice since 2000. I happen to know that, because I was there for both instances; once in March of 2000, for the 60th Birthday weekend party I hosted for Al; and again in December of 2007, in Santa Barbara’s Cottage Hospital when Al had emergency open heart surgery, including a quadruple bypass and valve replacement. Why is that? Maybe it’s because if he is in the same room with them all now, as adults, they might ask him, or catch him, tripping over the endless lies he tells to each of them, so no one ever questions Al’s narrative?
-I know in June of 2017, the first time our son ever spent more than a day or two with Al; it was explained to AJ, that Al was renting a room in his home to a woman who was an alcoholic and needed help. That renter turned out to be his girlfriend.....she’s still there. This is one of the women who was probably the recipient of many text messages from one of Al’s several “hoe phones” as our daughter calls them! Not the same woman who Emily “outed” in September of 2007, nor my alleged “friend,” who visited our family with her sister in 2001 at our home in Ocean Forest on Sea Island’s, and evolved into something more than a mere visit? She was also not the ex-wife of the certain Rolling Stones rock star, who boasted about her tryst with Al in a U.K. news publication? The count of burner phones and women is one long list.
-I know there is more of this puzzle to piece together.....there’s more research, more reviewing of 30+ years worth of diaries and files, and so much more emotional work within myself... those are some of the things I do know.
Here’s what I don’t know….
-How did all this happen right under my nose?
-Why do my two younger sisters now call Al, not me? Why does my sister Lilith, who was “nicknamed” Lilith by Al, after a reference to the tv show “Frazier.” If you aren’t familiar with the character, check it out; she makes ice look warm! Meanwhile Lilith’s husband, Dick, was a source of constant ire and disdain for Al, who felt utter contempt, calling Dick “the Lizard,” as every time a check would come to the table at a restaurant he suddenly had to use the restroom. Tiny, unimportant details now…apparently? Lilith has reversed course 100% and regularly makes Biscotti to take to Al on holidays or his birthday?
-Why, when Al had open-heart surgery in the midst of our separation/divorce, did my sister Dorothy make the comment...“oh, I didn’t know he had one;” but now regularly calls him to check in? That seems odd… especially when Al called her husband, Kirby, a “useless parasite” who bragged openly and often about dodging the payment of his student college loans? Furthermore, Al belittled Kirby’s chosen profession as an “EMT” on a movie set. Oh sure, Al would say, “dispensing bandaids for a living is quite the accomplishment,” while performing an imitation of Kirby, holding up his hand and yelling “BAND AID ON SET!”
-What did I do, and more importantly what will, or can, I do now, to try to make it right for my children, and every other person who has ever had a person like this in their life?
-How do I reconcile all the years I spent emotionally supporting and protecting him from outside scrutiny and attacks?
Those are questions I can’t answer…yet.
I have learned that the TRUTH, REALITY, and COLD, HARD FACTS are not always well received or popular… but alas I WILL keep telling them, and if that isn’t for you, then take care and good luck… Oh, and…
It’s a difficult process, and it may not all enfold immediately, but’s there’s more, much, much more...
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